If we had access to a time machine or an entire school system could make choices for every student in real time, absolutely!

But seriously there’s so much Lamar Jackson

Facebook screenshot of AI slop featuring Baltimore Ravens QB Lamar Jackson

If you live in Maryland, you’re inundated with so much Lamar Jackson AI slop and sure enough, Elena fed LJ too

Off topic, but speaking of regional details, I felt this reflexive urge to point out to your Texan readers that the “Houston Street” in your first paragraph is *not* pronounced like the city on the gulf coast.

Oh god Ronnn Torossian, the PR guy who doesn’t seem to do much actual PR except for himself. Haven’t heard his name in ages.

More passive voice than a Peyton Manning audible

The only reference to inflation is this pro-Trump PAC ad that keeps popping up on YouTube about how Trump is going to fight the greedy trial lawyers* causing prices to skyrocket.

*who famously did not exist pre-COVID

Cat: “Enough with the cleaning, feed me already, no one gives a fuck about the litter.”

Also cat: “I took a shit outside the litter box because there was a chunk of pee.”

This isn’t Reddit, where people get really mad if you don’t tag an obvious sarcasm as such.

I once joked there that it’s easy to be vegetarian in Japan as long as you’re willing to eat fish, chicken, and pork, and oh boy, were the people angry about that.

Is she the blonde lady that does all the White House pressers?

I think it’s pretty simple if you just use pounds when you want to dismiss an offer a desultory and euros when you’re accusing the other party of driving a hard bargain

Absolutely not dumb if you’re in the business of golf or patios, or you just like to enjoy time outdoors after work.

There’s like zero chance those exact neighbors aren’t hiring landscaping companies with ride-on mowers and gas-powered blowers.

Daylight saving time exists in Europe too.

Although DST was initially implemented to save energy in the age of incandescent bulbs and no AC, today, its key supporters are industries associated with outdoor recreation. Energy use has little to do with its continued existence.

People have been pointing out the lack of “to be” verbs as long as the Onion has been on social media. This is nothing new.

So we bought a reasonable car recently that made a serious dent in our savings, and every time I’m out, I wonder how people afford newer, nicer cars on top of all their expenses.

$1,000/mo x 2 = half a mortgage payment. That’s insane to me.

theonion's comment on "We are the editors of The Onion, ask us anything" Explore this conversation and more from the IAmA community

From their recent Reddit AMA:
“…But the death of newspapers hasn't made it harder to write. It just makes it harder for our audiences to read. It seems like every headline we publish now has at least one “Typo!!! 😡” comment because they don’t understand headlinese.”

www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/7rt...

Too aerodynamic. Imagine how dangerous they’d be at 600 mph.

This isn’t exactly the first time this has happened at the NYT. There were some fun Krugman vs Brooks spats back in the day.

I think MAGA sportspeople should be more candid about their political opinions instead of hiding behind the “I just hit balls for a living” dodge while happily shaking hands with the dude when invited.

“Feel free to ping me over the weekend if you have any questions, though I may be out of range so I can’t promise I’ll get back to you right away” is my go-to message right before I disable Outlook notifications on my phone.

Man, he just got married and has 3 kids. He was just getting started. I don’t know how to process this.

My sense is that the Democrats are very good at talking about issues amongst insiders. But holy shit where did all the good retail politicians go? Like, who could go on John Mulaney’s show or Hot Ones and just kick game? There’s Pete and AOC and that’s about it?

bsky.app/profile/silv...

She’s clearly listened to a lot of New Wave and 70s pop punk growing up.

The point of the hashtag CWC is to make money for FIFA. It’d be kinda stupid to do it without Messi, so they absolutely deserve to be there.

You can be held liable for repeating other people’s lies. It’s just that public figures like Mamdani face a higher bar when suing for libel.

Oh snap, I thought Canada was always metric. TIL.

Say what you will about the Wall Street bailouts and Cash for Clunkers, but they at least benefited regular folks? But rounding up non-criminals to prop up the prison-industrial complex feels incredibly perverse.