SHUT THE FUCK UP, STRIDER.

// oh you cant see their hair

// I always miss this Homestuck OC I made like 2 years ago.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE THINKPAN HAS DRIFTED OFF TO THE PERVERSE SIDE OF THINGS, DAVE.

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WEIRDLY SATURATED HUMAN STUMP GRIPPERS AWAY FROM ME.

THIS IS NOT

WHAT YOU THINK IT IS! I WILL NOT LET YOU INFLUENCE MY WORDS. YOU'RE THE PERVERT.

I'M NOT PUMPING HOOFBEASTS, DAVE.

YOU'RE SICK.

I'D LIKE TO FEEL...
FEEL...

NEVERMIND.

IT'S EGBERT'S HATCHING DAY AND I GUESS IT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO. FOR ONE DAY, I MEAN. HONOR HIS EXISTENCE.

SINCE USUALLY I'D RATHER IGNORE HIM ANY OTHER DAY.

SO I AM EXTENDING THE PROVERBIAL OLIVE BRANCH. BROTHER TO BROTHER AND WISHING HIM A INNOCENTLY UNEVENTFUL DAY OF HUMAN BIRTH.

WELL.

FUCK.

[ You were making this happen.

A mess of clashing teeth and tongue, and hands that aren't very sure of themselves, but you grasp hold tight, muttering between kisses you couldn't bring yourself to stop. ]

Curse your .. stupid ... human -- charm.

[ You're stood there, a breathless idiot clinging to this guy -- There's no possible way you could get any closer, somehow fitting yourselves together -- forcing yourself together like a puzzle. Whether or not the pieces fit, you two were going to make it happen.

And you were doing it ] ++

[ Every breath you tried to pull into your lungs was lost to the sensation of him. The press of his mouth on yours, the urgent grip of his hands drawing you closer, and the heat of his body only spiked the rise of your own --

It was dizzying, it was 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 as it were messy & spontaneous. ] +

[ Like a prayer, if you did that sort of thing -- yet close enough, you sigh against his kiss, arms wrapped around him tight.

You sigh his name in your adoration, and to your dismay of those god awful cliches, this felt like..fate. ]

[ Sweeps long where he felt a mere fingertip length away from you when all it took was just that last push to dive in.

And you did. Dive, that is, only you didn't know if you would sink or swim. Yet, with Dave everything felt so light -- so free. And you can't help but utter his name. ] ++

[ There comes a hear arising in your body -- burning and not entirely unfamiliar, yet new all the same. It starts at your lips where they stay molded over Dave's own, and spreads like wildfire, igniting your very senses.

He's so close now, closer than he's ever been. ] ++

[ It's exciting, it's clumsy, it's everything you could have dared dream of — & hadn't you? You put that thought aside, undivided focus on the human.

Bold in the way you push yourself against him, a tooth just barely grazing lower lip amidst their long overdue liplock. ]

[ You break the kiss, only a moment to allow yourself an breath, you're not a seadweller afterall, air was a necessity to your alien lungs & surely your fragile, human companion needed a breath himself.

But that breath, taken in haste serves far too quick before your lips are back on Dave's. ] ++

[ You couldn't be worse at this, but how could you be expected to dive headfirst into a romantic embrace when you've only ever seen this scene play out in the films.

Was it always this awkward? Still, you indulge in the moment, lost in it when his hands reach your face. ] ++

[ A sound escapes you, muffled by his mouth atop your own, and you refuse to ruin this — any of this, being so very mindful of your teeth. For the love of god, mind your teeth. ]

[ And you are — needless to say, rather inexperienced save for those times a kiss was a life saving act, but now? Here? With him?

Your breath hitches, your cheeks flood with a warmth of bright, candy red that blankets over your unsual complexion. ] ++

[ It's neither graceful nor the perfectly romantic gesture as seen in your awful movies, but it's real. It's you — it's both of you.

You shudder once in his hold, your lips flush against Dave's own in a matter that's far too clumsy as though your inexperience shines through it all. ] ++

I HATE THIS MAN.

WHAT IF I DECIDED TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY TO BLOW UP AND SPARE MYSELF FROM HAVING TO BEAR WITNESS ANOTHER MOMENT TO THIS WORLD AND THE SO CALLED "PEOPLE" WHO INHABIT IT.

NATURAL SELECTION WAS APPARENTLY NOT EFFECTIVE ENOUGH.

Brows crinkled to a furrow immediately when the other had sat besides him — taking the time to promptly ensure further space between them.

"Wow. Here I was taking the time to enjoy my riveting solitude to remisince of days gone by and you promptly decided to come and sit down unannounced."

> Karkat: KISS. THAT. BOY.

[ No bees, no dirt, no horrific yet comical interruptions. Two friends about to cross a line of no return but you've never been more ready. ]

YEAH. NO. CHOMPING.. SURE.

[ You're barely paying attention to his words when you reach for him on instinct, you grab hold of his shoulders loosely. ] ++

[ Oh, god. Oh, god it's happening — He's coming closer and it's happening. You feel like your blood pusher is seconds from failing, but you are not about to pass away and ruin this. A second time. ]

[ Shades moved from his eyes, you know this is disgustingly serious and you NEED it to be. ] ++

[ Free from debris and further bug incidents, there would hopefully be no more interruptions and you could finally take this moment to figure out what it was happening between you two... ]

NO. I AM NOT GOING TO BITE YOU.

EVEN IF YOUR FLESH IS INCREDIBLY SOFT AND CHEWY. NOT FOR CONSUMPTION.

[ Your eyes are glued to Dave, your embarrassed reflection staring back at you through a pair of cool guy shades which only further prove that you're a disaster when things begin to get even the most minute romantic even with all your romantic expertise. ]

[ The expertise was better given. ] ++

[ The way your face flushes is something you'd relate to one of the strange animated troll girls in those shows Nepeta would watch, generally full of brain-rotting romance that didn't even hold a flame to your movie masterpieces.

Like 50 First Dates. A classic. ]

> Karkat: Focus. ++

[ Silently lost to your unchecked trauma, you're suddenly brough back to the present, something warm has grazed your face.. snapping back to reality, you realize it was Dave. ]

..........

[ You lean in closer for his touch. ]