devastating blow... (the family did a massive grocery haul and wanted me to be excited.)

my family told me to preheat the oven but i have been so good and not eaten anything today... i hope i can lock myself in my room and remain undisturbed...

i just wanted to share with the class... :) they are only for special occasions.

hehehe

i got excited about a low cal treat and thought 'oh, how i wish i had someone to share my excitement with...' and then i remembered i at least have somewhere i can post about it!

oh! i am here again! i forgot about this place!

i made a cute gift for a friend today. a diorama of us as bunnies having a tea party in a little chest. i hope she likes it.

haven't eaten a thing today and i couldn't even eat if i wanted to.

i just want to disappear right now... stop expecting me to take care of myself! i can't do that!

embarrassing phone call with the therapy office about insurance.

i hate myself.

i'm losing it. i've been so nauseous from anxiety. but maybe that'll help me.

i can't open my bedroom door sometimes because i think there's going to be someone on the other side waiting to get me. i close my eyes and i see them wandering around the house. my paranoia is getting so bad.

i'm back! i've been very sick. :( but i'm getting better!

i went to the cutest shop in town and spent less than $100... so proud of myself! and i only got one thing for me (hand cream because i wash my hands too much) everything else is gifts for friends.

it's because i made my name on here 'achoo!'... i manifested it.

washing my hands countless times a day and for what? to get sick anyway? god...

i woke up coughing at 4am and i can't fall back asleep. make it stop!

i'm so anxious about the scary thoughts that i feel nauseous...

idrlabs is so funny. yes, i am sure this 10 question bipolar test will clear things up for me.

oooh maybe. still odd, but that makes a little sense.

started the personality disorder test but i don't understand all of the questions about my country... what's that about...

so i ate today. i wanna die about it. i'll just sleep about it and make tomorrow a good day.

mom wants to watch me eat...

anyway... definitely sick. stupid body.

anything is possible!

yeah, i think i'll do that. hopefully they don't think anything of it.

i can't stop thinking about my family expecting me to eat ice cream with them today. freaking out a little. i want to seem happy for the reason we are celebrating, though. agh. ack! hopefully plans change.

i think i might actually finish kaguya-sama: love is war... it's so cute.

i think i might be sick... not a normal kind of nausea, and a very sore throat... being sick reminds me of when i was afraid to drink cough syrup because of the calories...