I am not getting out of this bed, it is warm and it loves me.

do u ever look at someone and you're just like wow let me take off your pants

I hate it when other people laugh and still look attractive, but when I laugh I look like an awkward horse.

That awkward moment when someone sings "I'm sexy and I know it" and you're like "You're not sexy.. and everyone knows it."

There is no "U" in awesome. But there is a ‘me’.

Too bored to stay home. Too lazy to go out.

My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be

Sexiest Female Swimmers - epphany.com/site/post/35...

Girls on Periods - I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Get away. You're cute. Fuck off. Fuck that. Fuck this.

You're just like math. I hate math.

Homework Homewor Homewo Homew Home Hom Ho How How a How ab How abo How abou How about How about n How about no

Being fat lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.

My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.

there's plenty of fish in the sea, i just suck at fishing.

If it takes more than 3 mins to cook no thank you I'd rather starve