DID YOU KNOW?:
Seattle Mariners pitcher George Kirby learns new pitches by sucking up other pitchers and pressing “down”

Randy Arozarena or as I like to call him “Randall Ricedome”

The new Donkey Kong has an edgy comedian mode

With all the FEMA cuts, you’d think the Carolina Hurricanes would be destroying

New Mountain Dew for villains with sinister plans just dropped:
Bahahahaha Blast

:( that's not the deep vein thrombing you want to see

In another timeline John Daly hosts The Stewart Show

“it’s freedom of speech not freedom from consequences” but what if I sayyyyy I want to be free of consequences double pinky promise no takebacksies?

Call me Edward Snowed-in the way Seattle’s leaking flakes

Trump’s tariffs are going to make that old addage true: “millennials could afford a house if they skipped the avocado toast.”

Reeuuuuubeeeen

I can’t believe Taylor Swift is still going to Chiefs games, my wife hasn’t been to an open mic in YEARS

What hot dogs are North Carolina moms in the 90s going to feed their kids now?

Peter Piper was a PROBLEM. One of the most underrated pickled pepper pickers of his generation

I FINALLY tried the Beetlejuice Fanta. Really disappointed the soda itself was green and not striped

I’m addicted to Marvel Rivals but it paints a bleak picture of humanity. Everyone wants to play the shooty guy but no one wants to heal

You’re falalalalalalaing?
I’m decking the halls with boughs of holly and your falalalalalaing.

How could they do that luigi?

If i don’t blow up on here it’s because I’m saving all my good posts for the next app

:whispering:
Um I didn’t want to say anything earlier because my post is a post, but there was a post in this post.

They say admitting you have a problem is the first step and I did that like six years ago.
Should be ready for step two any day now

Bluesky is all about quality, so I will only be posting my best Threads here

Elon Musk desperately trying to build a bluesky knock-off