can’t work tomorrow bc unreachable popcorn kernel

I dont have enough plastics in my brain if I’m still thinking

actually, it is illegal to softly chuckle at your own joke

Lindt master chocolatier in the epstein files

are the olympics still going on? i don’t want google to think i’m a fucking idiot

(elmo voice) BIG KNIFE, SMALL WIFE

two wizards kissing

aw it’s valentines day

rudy giuliani is 70% tissue paper

HELEN LEFT A WATER RING ON MY COASTER

me & my cat

my labubu is missing :(

imagine absolutely despising every fiber of my being AND THEN you find out i also bought hitler.com

I have no other option but to make rice pudding.

WAKE UP you’re in a cash cab right now

and water good god

golf should be illegal

(at universal) can Harry Potter sign my tits

no one talks about this, but… hitler was also ugly

“an orca is basically a sea panda”
is some hot garbage i would put on twitter but NOT here

my sim died because it used the toilet too much

did a DNA test.

Grimace (McDonalds) is my father

@fbi

had subway for the first time in awhile and it’s all I can think about now

admin reveal

why are they called Nerds? they look like skin tags

had this in my head for the last month

2025: the Duolingo owl smokes now

they changed the original Q-Tips recipe

cabbage is actually a fruit