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Posts by Amanda Stewart

[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS]

 1
NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]: 

Hello there 

2
[A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk].

DAD:

Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids?

3
NT EMPLOYEE:

Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail!

4
MUM:
That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids?

5
NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]:

Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot!

6 
NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]:

Listen - that's their call 

[Calls emanating from the landscape]:

tut-tut
woke-woke

7
NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]:

They are extremely sensitive and fragile...
But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery.

8
KIDS [pointing]:
There they are! 

[Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure].

[Little people noises]: 
woke-woke
tut-tut
woke-woke

9
[Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]:

Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house.

[Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]:

tut-tut
woke-woke

10
MUM [pointing]:
What's that one doing there?

NT EMPLOYEE:
Oh, that's so sweet…

11
[We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away].

NT EMPLOYEE:
I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph…

12
[We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]:

Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE?

[ends]

[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS] 1 NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]: Hello there 2 [A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk]. DAD: Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids? 3 NT EMPLOYEE: Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail! 4 MUM: That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids? 5 NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]: Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot! 6 NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]: Listen - that's their call [Calls emanating from the landscape]: tut-tut woke-woke 7 NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]: They are extremely sensitive and fragile... But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery. 8 KIDS [pointing]: There they are! [Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure]. [Little people noises]: woke-woke tut-tut woke-woke 9 [Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]: Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house. [Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]: tut-tut woke-woke 10 MUM [pointing]: What's that one doing there? NT EMPLOYEE: Oh, that's so sweet… 11 [We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away]. NT EMPLOYEE: I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph… 12 [We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]: Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE? [ends]

If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...

5 months ago 1555 800 38 33
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Peony season 🥰

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Happy Shropshire Day, everyone! x

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I can’t resist a yellow sticker!
I would hate to have paid full price for this though - I really struggled to find much chicken… 🐥

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Shrewsbury Abbey tonight…

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Oh, Jimmy… 💔

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The embedded video of the koala being removed is 10/10 no notes.

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Greggs Wallace ponders if he is out of touch, but decides it's middle class women if a certain age who are wrong

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I’m going to IKEA tomorrow. I haven’t been for years. I am SO excited. I may not sleep tonight…

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My dog was NOT impressed!!

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I’ve become ever-so-slightly obsessed with avoiding food waste, so here’s last night’s leftover champ as potato cakes for Sunday brunch… 😋

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First C4 Dispatches and now this… 😳

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A satirical cartoon of a passenger on a plane saying the pilot has lost touch with regular passengers before adding: “who thinks I should fly the plane?” Everyone puts their hands up.

A satirical cartoon of a passenger on a plane saying the pilot has lost touch with regular passengers before adding: “who thinks I should fly the plane?” Everyone puts their hands up.

cartoon of the day

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Shrewsbury sunset… 😍

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He’s listening to the birds… 😍

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Back from a chilled week on the Welsh coast…

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Hurrah! Quizzy Mondays are back next week!! 🥳

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