Cash, grass, or math, as the truckers would say.

What the average American believes is "far left", the world sees as "right of center".

I first learned about Occam's Razor when I was 18.

Gillette sent me one in the mail.

"... I didn't say that"

~ They

... a dystopian YA parody, where each warring faction is the name of a popular YA series:

"Oh no, Raven was sorted into Twilight after saying she would pledge to Divergent. 50 Shades is going to lose their shit."
"What does Maze Runner have to say about this?"
"... who fucking cares?"

I believe the British loonies are separating from our loonies, saying they've more of a "common ancestor" than direct lineage.

My dad, who brought me up on Python, told me "Loony Magnetism is a spectator sport".

I feel that.

... I just like this joke.

... I got confused, because Canadian loonies and American loonies are entirely different things, yet "the stack of loonies [...] weren't paid off" still made sense.

Dan's first thought when he saw Doug was "if you google Bootleg Piggly Wiggly, you get pictures of a Hoggly Woggly".

A German coprophiliac accidentally walks into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

"... I don't get it"

Aa ("ah ah", two syllables) is German for "poop".

"...

...

Nein out of ten."

According to Betteridge's law of headlines, the answer is "no".

I'm offended by #notallmen

I'm 6'1"

When God closes a door, He opens a widow.

I'm going to open a coffee/food joint called "The Second Cumin". My signature item will be Stigmatcha.

Other stuff offered:

Levticouscous
Philemonade
Nahummus
Turkey Wrapture

The vast gulf between those distinctions is not the thing to focus on when some of these rules are "women's bodies belong to men".

In one of your past videos, you talk about all rules being made up. And because I live in America, all these rules are being made up by terrible fucking people.

... there's gotta be a better way than this.

"zero updates from NES"

Time to call Luigi.

If you told me this was Bryan Cranston wearing that man as a skin suit to properly method act, I'd also believe you.

Neurodivergent: I prefer the small spoon.

Neodivergent: I acknowledge the spoon exists.

I'm writing a Star Wars porno. It's called "Han Shot First".

God works in mysterious ways, except on the Sabbath.