I was boarding a plane to Orlando and there was a family behind me with a few young kids. One of them dropped their sippy cup and I knelt down to pick it up and a massive hand appeared along with a voice saying “it’s okay I’ve got it, thank you”. None other than Giannis Antetokounmpo.
Special shout-out to the “Narration Voice” vocal preset in Logic
Holy shit
I wish I could express my feelings about finishing finals in 5 days in any way more accurate than
“this summer is gonna be a movie fr”
A week ago I barely knew what civil procedure was. Now, I have become civil procedure.
The Pope clipped my heels with his cart at Jewel
The Pope wants Jerry to sell the team
The Pope doored me on Milwaukee Ave
Equally protect deez nuts yknow what I mean
I’m like the anti-Clarence Thomas the way I only use the 14th Amendment to analyze any con law question 💁♀️
Wearing a mask to class to not spread my illness but also to hide how disgustingly chapped my nose is
They just pay a penalty to the IRS on their end i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Like my state return has to be amended BY MAIL!! Sorry you should owe the $46 to the state instead
I received a 1099 from *redacted promoter* literally today and I’m so mad bc I always wait to file until the last min in case something shows up late, but because I filed TWO DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE now I have to amend.
If you send your forms this late you should have to pay my taxes on it.
Smart phone make me dumb
Whiskey make me numb
Women make me…
mmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmm
Okay I’ll admit it! I love music!
“justice Scalia with whom the Chief Justice and Justice Thomas join, dissenting”
When you see this you know you’re about to read the most insufferable judicial opinion
Just thinking about the numbers this woulda done on 2019 twitter
They paved paradise and put up a Small Cheval
Doing gods work 🙏🤝🫶
Who wants to make one of my songs go viral so I can afford to get the new Mario kart (and switch ig)
u know my line is always open 🤝
I am embarrassingly obsessed with this song that the kid from the Finding Nemo Jr meme just put out. JB vibes. Yes I know all the words. Yes it also sent me into a Justin Bieber phase. Purpose and Justice are great albums. youtu.be/YBbwrm5xP9w?...
Watching my 3 year old cousin and only thing he wants to watch is videos of people playing a tractor simulator
I feel a zen I haven’t felt since the semester started and all it took was a complete breakdown
Sometimes u just gotta reach your boiling point and crash out for your body and mind to reset to being chill
facebook memories screenshot from 14 years ago that says "wall sits for 4 min. at one time today at softball, fun..."
s2g this is the shit that made me quit softball/sports in high school lmao
make it 45 min and boy do I FEEL U
didn't realize daylight savings was happening THIS WEEKEND I am full of a level of joy I did not believe imaginable.
