who the FUCK turnt off my crypto pod!!

if I don’t get these posts out my brain pushes against my skull, ow OW!

MY FINGER IS ON THE BUTTON

I have realized that my mental wellbeing is attached to this account , bonded beyond

taking a shit (doggy style)

IF I HIT 100 FOLLOWERS I WILL XPLODE!!!

you can leave your window open at home. not just at a hotel or hypothetical motel

watermelon, grapes, cilantro, in top 25 all time things.

me n my boys just be hanging out, inhaling things

the fun apart about limbo is that sometimes even i don’t know how low i’m gonna go

what an awesome day we are having!!

jerking off but as a love letter to past j/o sessions

“it happens to the best of us” is such a beautiful phrase. yes, it does happen, even to them :)

"It's Adam & Eve NOT Adam & Steve!" Actually it was Adam & Eve & Steve, the first throuple.

sometimes i think i smell that devious flower, but instead, a rotting skunk corpse is nearby #lifelessons

it’s warmer over here, isn’t it?

just took soooooooo many napkins from chipotle

just got put on fraternity leave :/

Me, 40 years old, belly laughing: “Babe, it says GUAC TUA and chips! Like that video remember? Haha We have to get some. That is awesome.”

if olympians eat their cereal with water, maybe they should swim in milk

besides your immense worth, you mean nothing to me

my buddy ferryside benny made me aware that my last tweet was harmful.
.
.
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I am so sorry

We've all heard of body dysmorphia, but what about body deformia where it looks all fucked up and stuff

expand your horizons, not only horizontally but vertically when applicable

welcome
To Moss County
things stay moist here
and they do not get dry

is it finally time

me when I’m at a restaurant but im full and they ask me what I want “yeah , I’ll have the nothing burger”

noticed ive been posting too many jokes about drugs and perversion, also remember to LOVE! ❤️💙💜☮️✌️