Look at everyone taking advantage of their extra magic hours ✨

Not just BlueSky 🥲

👆🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️✅✅✅

To be clear: Lex was being entirely serious, might need an eye test, and I nearly fell over laughing

Walking into Disneyland this morning @glitterstrands.bsky.social glanced over towards the Winnie the Pooh Meet and Greet area and said

"Wait... is Winnie here already"

I suppose in some ways he was

Thank god Ross is sat next to you and not me

Ross just told me he had a headache.

He claimed to be surprised because he'd drunk a lot today, he'd drunk "three cans of Pepsi"

That boy is pure dehydration

An odd combination of movies this week

As good as Project Hail Mary was, kinda wish I'd watched the Lego movie instead to round off my game/you movie trio

It looks like this, but you already knew that because you've sat next to people in their fifties on planes/trains

The cash the developers must be making is insane too, that app is CRAWLING with ads

The chokehold that wooden Tetris looking puzzle game has on the over 45s needs to be studied

I've got no idea what the games called, but 80% of the time I look at an older person's phone they're playing this weird wood effect puzzle game

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I was flying the drone, and when it was 2km away from me over an iceberg it disconnected

I have never sweat so much at -15 degrees

Was just in the office collecting equipment I need to take to Greenland

We bumped into our cleaner who told Ross and I off for leaving our wives and kids alone on Mother's day

Also, this isn't a bit. They were entirely alone. No owners. On the street in Soho. Love that for them

Why are these two dogs, with their muscles and a carafe of white wine having a better Sunday than me?

If this is true I'm going to need someone else to take over TLDR for a bit because I'm off on sebatical

Email your CVs to hiring@tldrnews.co.uk

Unfortunately it's not a dictatorship, I still kinda have to convince the others 🥲

I don't know what class you think me and Mr Battery are travelling in

Yes I am! But the quantity of big batteries is also a difficulty with flying.

So we're spreading the big batteries amongst the group - including our colleague in Liverpool

But don't worry, I'm going and have plenty of big batteries myself

Yeah I agree, she's not the perfect example as she's not the calibre of celebrity that would have ever snuck off to Japan for an ad

In fact, for her vibe being crass and selling out is kinda the point

More broadly we shouldn't be rewarding behaviour like this

Have you ever suggested a dumb work trip to Greenland, got it approved, think you've won...

only to end up on a train to Liverpool, where you'll spend approximately 30 minutes, to give a colleague batteries to take to Greenland because mailing huge drone batteries is annoying

I do think we need to reinstate the shame associated with selling out like that

Back in the day celebrities used to do adverts in Japan because they were scared of the repercussions for being seen to have sold out

I think we need a little of that back, especially for brands as scummy as PP

I just learned that the Chupa Chups logo was designed by Salvador Dali

Get in the bin

Can you abandon captioning parliament or whatever, and just work for us to subtitle our videos with an alternative gen-z translation

And like something people would happily pay for

Last night I had a dream that TLDR did a live show (like in a theatre) for the first time

It was so stressful that throughout the dream basically everyone in the company quit

I kinda wanted to do a live show before, but I fear this was a premonition

(I genuinely did laugh a lot and had a joyous time, despite the best efforts of the Lingfield brand to mess with me)

Imagine going to a novelty cowboy themed restaurant your whole childhood

Then imagine forcing your friends to go to a different branch of said restaurant each year

Then imagine it turns out all the other ones, besides the one in your hometown, suck

I had a lovely evening