for those who don’t follow my other account and are going “wasn’t it longer???”
yes it was. i moved my flights up because things here are rancid.

23 days

god i would love to not be in the middle of a depressive episode right now

The dot.

#belzebubs #webcomics #comic #cats

i don't regret my decision and she wants me to do what's best for me, but god, it still hurts

the anticipatory grief of knowing that the few days i stay with her might be the last time seeing my mother in person before the ckd takes her is getting to me as well.

And I do think we all survive our childhoods - even the good ones - and then start anew, start a totally different life from the one that was described to us.

i keep just crying on and off today in between trying to do things. how did my life even come to this.

anyway guess who paid an extra $10 to buy their own fucking broom when they put in the order for flyscreen repair stuff.

technically 49 because i go stay with my mother almost a week ahead of my flight.

55 days cannot go by quick enough.

vent //
today on this place is a fucking hellscape: i got yelled at for using a broom. resulted in doors being slammed and silent treatment after and everything.

like, we haven’t had working lights for like 3 years or so now because my uncles just don’t wanna pay to get it fixed

it also feels a little fucking awful that like, my housemates and i were talking in the gc about what we’re excited for and my two main things are working lights and ottie having more freedom in the house

i’ve lost followers since having to ask for help again which sure isn’t helping the feeling 🙃

it also means i'm having to rely on other people or go into debt which just. makes me feel fucking ashamed.

i don't regret loaning my housemates the money because they have far less time than i do. i do regret that it comes at a cost to myself, especially when i so desperately want to be fucking out of here.

<--- creaturething who is trying not to panic about having nothing left in the moving fund and all the things they still need to get and organise within 8 weeks.

ugh my uncles forgot to remind grandma (who’s staying over) about the ants so she’s left her dirty breakfast dishes next to the sink and the ants have flocked to them and now i feel uncomfy making food in the kitchen again

ネモフィラ

When I live I want to shine. I want to prove that I exist.

8 weeks…

a square painting of a small island on a very blue lake, a ring of stars floats above the few trees on the island

a square painting of blue mountain against a blue and pink gradient sky, the mountain is covered in water ripples and several stars dance above them

ultramarine blue has my whole heart 💙

hey, my future housemates and i finally got approved for a house but it's taken way longer than we expected. we don't currently have our bond loans anymore as they expired and my future housemates need help with cleaning and moving costs as they're also both disabled. we were hoping to have until late next month to arrange things but the lease has been locked in for 2 weeks from now leaving us very little time to arrange everything. we'd appreciate any help during this time.

hey. i know y'all have helped me once before and i truly loathe to ask for help again but we finally got approved for a house. unfortunately, it was way later than expected.

more details in the image + the comments.
ko-fi.com/fieryrespawn...

i'm almost out of this house. i'm almost out. there's light at the end of the tunnel.

like yeah, we’re long distance but we’ve been talking about the visit for next year which led to talking about some future stuff and idk. it’s just. it’s nice that the talk went so well.

meeting someone who was not only open to the idea of separate rooms, but the first to bring it up, has been so refreshing honestly after previous relationships where the expectation was we’d 100% share a bedroom all the time.

i am. a teensy bit stressed.

wheeee we finally got offered a 12 month lease but it's taken so long my bond loan has expired

also their sleepy voice and sleepy self are very cute and it makes me very giddy