Girls with a time machine: Hello John Brown these are called "Kalashnikovs" Boys with a time machine: Hello John Brown these are called "Kalashnikovs"

I want to make clear for a second with this comment, it’s not just the green dipshit in this particular thread, it’s the entirety of 21st century fucking politics doing this now. Republicans want manufacturing job where hungover man swings hammer, because of aesthetic.

I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time

I think what happened is basically that a bunch of consultants misread the rightward swing among Gen Z last election as a permanent vibe shift which is why the weaseliest Dems sprinted to do podcasts with hitlerites instead of waiting three months for trump to fuck everything up like he always does

Iran: look, it's simple. We literally just paint the silhouette of a plane on the ground. We literally just nail together some boxes in the shape of a tank. We literally just pull looney tunes shit. Their AI will make them spend $100 million to destroy $5 of arts and crafts.

the US: grok is this

Sorry I'm not more open-minded about LLMs, it's just some fucking maniacs shoveled out a bunch of useless bloatware featuring that technology, did not give me any chance to opt out, reorganized the entire economy around it, zeroed out gains made by green energy, and made it impossible to buy RAM

(EVIL CITY GROUPCHAT)

WASHINGTON DC: lol bro youre burning down my embassy now

DUBAI: ITS NOT FUNNY PLS HELP

LONDON: we're not taking our influencers back

MIAMI: we'll take the hot ones

SAN SALVADOR: this is going to hurt crypto

CINCINNATI: why is no one picking up at the burj khalifa skyline

i'm older than the DHS and have never seen it do anything good for The Average American (whatever that means) in my entire life. i have seen it be a big racism lever that every administration loves to pull like that dril tweet tho

Leftists in '25: We're not voting for Gavin

Leftists in '26: We're not voting for Gavin

Leftists in '27: We're not voting for Gavin

Leftists in '28: We're not voting for Gavin

Gavin in '28: *loses the general against a JD Vance/Erika Kirk ticket*

Liberals in '28: Why would leftists do this? 😡

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50

Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

If you can substitute "hungry ghost trapped in a jar" for "AI" in a sentence it's probably a valid use case for LLMs. Take "I have a bunch of hungry ghosts in jars, they mainly write SQL queries for me". Sure. Reasonable use case.

"My girlfriend is a hungry ghost I trapped in a jar"? No. Deranged.

this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier

the whole "we can demarcate some people as not truly human as long as it's in service to broader political goals" wing of the left fails to understand that once you legitimize the idea that some people aren't actually human it's over for everyone else

a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen

MY HOT TAKE ON MTG VS TRUMP IS THAT IT IS THE NATURE OF EVIL TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF.

Wild how every single member of the political and business elite went into full drooling fascism the second the prospect of consequences for abhorrent behavior started to seem possible

Yesssss!!!

The attorney general and the FBI director, a manosphere podcaster bro, pulled into the situation room a member of Congress best known for getting kicked out of a Beetlejuice musical for drunkenly giving her date a handy, in order to pressure her about the president's child sex trafficking scandal.

Should the Epstein files be released in full it would undoubtedly be an irreconcilable scandal & disaster for Donald Trump - which is why I predict that Chuck Schumer will post hole on main during that press conference, to save the Republicans from another inevitable defeat.

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

You: "I want you to tell me the most compellingly, tragically weird guy to ever be president of the US."

Me, a day later: "Okay. I've narrowed it down to five."

You: "All right. I'll make it easier. How about just between 1960 and 1980?"

Me, a week later: "Okay. I've narrowed it down to four."

I think democrats should push for a thorough review of all Elon Musk govt contracts as part of their 2026-8 portfolio. Why are taxpayers financing the work of a racist near-trillionaire? Leaving that unexamined was one of the biggest failures of the last Dem majority.

Obama is the lynchpin of neoliberal failure:

- no bankers went to jail for the financial crisis
- no punishment for Bush era crimes including torture
- no reigning in open market manipulation and illegal activity of tech disruptors like Uber
- refused to reform the filibuster
- drone wars expanded

Mods are asleep post brassicas

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

I'm a deeply flawed individual, but I bring joy to the world.

So many core beliefs - whether you’re talking about Jesus or Mr Rogers or Bill & Ted - really just boil down to “don’t be a dickhead.” Being kind to others shouldn’t be revolutionary; it should just be how we conduct ourselves.

(mf doom voice) he threw a sandwich cheese and salami, feds couldn't indict folded like origami, afraid of subway both the chain and the train, mayo salt and pepper shake your thang, grand jury shut em down twice, coca cola on the side no ice