(I’m back!)

That second “your” should be “any”.

I resign as lyricist.

🎵 Olly! Olly! You’ve messed up, by golly!
Why’d you let Mandy through, you big bloody wally?
Now you’re all wrapped up in this ludicrous farce
And the PM’s got a face like a freshly-smacked arse! 🎵

🎵 You claimed you’re a fighter and not a quitter
With Donald Trump you exchanged a titter
Now Keir thinks that you took him for a fool
Says you can fuck right off back to Hartlepool 🎵

🎵 You returned as the saviour of Gordon Brown
But you shared secret data and made him frown
It seems like a new scandal comes every week
Oh Peter why do you love to leak? 🎵

🎵 You pissed off Blair, now you’ve pissed off Starmer
You’re all caught up in the Epstein drama
It might sound like a riddle, but answer me this:
Why publicly widdle? Why publicly piss? 🎵

I can’t lie, it’s going to be quite calypso-heavy.

🎵 Mandelson! Mandelson!
Put your diplomacy sandals on!
Try not to cause your scandal, son!
You’re off to the USA! 🎵

At least I’m getting more material for my musical “Oh Peter!”

The reality of two people, both believing they did the right thing, disagreeing with each other about legal interpretations, is a bit less sexy.

Why does the thumbnail imply EU-wide law mandating stripy maternity-wear?

I know what you mean. Given your qualifying sentence, I think all you (and I) can do is keep trying.

“Hello, Death, this is Grim Reaper speaking, how may I help you?”

I’ve never been comfortable with the word “tolerance” in the context of any rights movement. It seems to imply something wrong with a group of people, with the result that we should put up with them, and grant them the minimum level of existence, as long as they stay out of sight and keep quiet.

Speak for yourself! When I was a lad it was always “tap! Tap! Tap!” at the bloody window pane - bloody Madonna shoving her bloody lycra gusset in my face!

I have some sympathy with him being under pressure, but if you’re damned either way with a decision, maybe choose the morally correct option.

Thornberry f-bomb klaxon!

They’re good. You can scan them with your phone to get a dosage history too.

Hope A&E isn’t too grim.

I hope she’s ok.

I’ve done similar, but realised quick enough to deal with it. (Bloody annoying that the insulin I’ve switched to isn’t available in “smart” pens, with the display showing when I last took it.)

Mark Francois and Iain Duncan Smith are still MPs?!

(30p Lee kicking himself out of the chamber was the greatest gift he could give the world of politics.)

You will NEVER GUESS what earworm I have today…

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS KLATTER

A man looking down at his t-shirt, which has a design featuring a triangular warning road sign for Danger (exclamation mark), with a sign below reading "Bloody hell".

Sign of the times: www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/1801...

Took the cat to the vet yesterday for annual vaccinations. Mentioned he’d been vomiting a bit lately, so she prescribed pills to give him once a day, half an hour before eating, for a fortnight.

I set an alarm on my phone to remind me. Obviously for the alarm tone I chose Elton John’s ‘Honky Cat’.

Rip Rig + Panic - I Am Cold - album cover.

For reference, the original.

A pencil drawing of Rip Rig + Panic’s I Am Cold album.

Daughter has taken to drawing post-punk album covers.

And today.

And today.

I know that feeling all too well. Hope you get some sleep soon.

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