NUNS: Reading Praying ECSTATIC VISIONS. Gardening

I may as well reshare it myself 😇

Genuinely cannot tell if these are genuine undercover Stasi or Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer larking about.

Are this group of Newcastle United fans going under the radar? Wasn’t clear

Best meme of all time. Used to share it on our group chat before every game

Finished with my woman ‘cause she’d only mix with her own kind 🎶

Oh bravo 👏

Some of our fans, man.

Also: Sky Bobby looks like a cross between him and John Carver. Makes you think

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

#Venn

Lucky you! Yeah it deserves to go to that final day, been a brilliant title race

The York Rochdale thing is absolute box office. Matching each other stride for stride, and all those 97th minute winners 🤯

Gateshead and the greatest escape in English football history Manager Rob Elliot reveals how his side pulled off the most remarkable of comebacks

The wildest tale in English football this season is easy: Gateshead and the greatest escape of all.

Manager Rob Eliott walked me through the miracle.

inews.co.uk/sport/footba...

Had literally just clicked on it! It’s an incredible achievement, glad it’s being discussed as such

Hadn’t heard this, it’s brilliant. Thank you. Sounds very Yeah Yeah Yeahs, though I know the reality is the opposite

I like how Sunderland have more than one player who sounds like a dog speaking. Robin Roefs obviously, but I’d also include Brian Brobbey.

Leaflet of three candidates, white blokes with limited hair, all in glasses. --- **GATESHEAD IS BROKEN. VOTE REFORM UK TO FIX IT** Introducing your Reform UK candidates for Low Fell leaflet text: **ATKINSON, John** Reform UK John has lived in Low Fell for 30+ years. His background is in civil engineering, policing, teaching and transport. He wants to bring back a sense of community, listen to residents' concerns and focus on local issues such as crime, roads and streets, and better services. --- **HENDERSON, Iain** Reform UK Iain has lived and worked in Gateshead all his life. Now retired, he wants to give something back to the borough. With a positive outlook, Iain is looking forward to making a real difference to the lives of the residents of Low Fell and to working closely with them. --- **MURRAY, Arthur** Reform UK Arthur has owned several businesses for many years. He has lived locally for 50 years and employs local staff, servicing the northeast and Scotland. His priorities are to see the ward and area prospering once again, caring for the old and infirm and maintaining our parks and open spaces. ---

This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person

Not sure about the new Star Wars.

Viz 355

Nee bother. It made me do a snort

“Right, which one of you is Simon Bird?”

Just the perfect TV show

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

The name’s Card,

No, Mr Bond. I expect you to

The kids don’t seem too impressed

Been shopping lads

Why do these all sound like gay slurs

It's tight but he is just on