I’ve been running the numbers and they’re all tired.

help me with the videos

I need someone to summarize and explain why the videos are funny.

This month’s gov’t mandated leisure time

@shitrock.bsky.social was a bucket list experience

Thank YOU @goblinocracy.bsky.social
we will continue shouting into the void until Turnstile improves

www.vice.com/en/article/4...

the most effective method
of disposal so it seems
is to let them climb mountains
and build their submarines

Bardo Pond started following you

Hell yeah

Thank you for your patience while we search every bathroom for handgun bullets.

I dont know what the secret to happiness is,
but Ive never been sad in a Mexican restaurant.

I dont have enough poetry in my diet

Been a good month for farting into the void. Next stop: Pound Town.

The PPD will do nothing to enforce this. They have been on silent strike since 2020 because at the very least, they loathe the DA.

Sorry I missed your call. Ive been battling horrors unimaginable and learning via cryptic, posthumous clues the nuances as to how the hubris of man has allowed such incongruous folly to befall a once great civilization.

who will claim the floating man

Yes I have been working out. At the library. The booknasium. The gym of the mind.

Turn that brown upside down

Massage therapy is a profession and a community service. Dont ask them out. You will find intimacy in the Harrison Bergeron Memorial Shake Shack.

Most relaxing walk of shame would be asking the massage therapist to dinner at the end of the session. Should have bought ME dinner before all THAT.

It can be easy to get bent out of shape, but it makes it hard to fit through doors.

US Maple and Steely Dan 🤝🏽

I slept in and all I got was a kink in my shoulder, an innocuous sense of time dilation, and the lingering dream dialogue “I dont like synths before a ninja fight.”

Sweetwater sticker hijinks endgame

What if Netflix and/or Disney bought EVERY restaurant and made them serve all of the same food, but no living human being gets to decide what menu items from each remain available. And you can only have it delivered. That would be wonderful.

All the time in the writing and recording phase. Demos and rehearsals in the car. Or walking/headphones for conjuring lyrics/melodies. When its “done” it gets thrown in the river with the car batteries.

Happy 30th Anniversary to “Long Hair in Three Stages” by U.S. Maple

Call your local representative and DEMAND the butthole surfers documentary have a full release so you can too.

Daddy’s Little Consumer

The largest toilet manufacturers around these parts are American Standard and Bemis. I dont know which is funnier.

Anecdotal, I once read that CBT is basically gaslighting yourself into feeling better.