Leaving for Social Event:
Where the HELL ARE MY KEYS?

On the way to Social Event:
Did I turn the gas off?

At Social Event:
How soon can i go home?

I don't know man, Hugo Boss really, Really, REALLY liked them....

His ear grew back. It wasn't real.

...plan one?

Archeologists have discovered many murals depicting VI and VII

I have owned two of these magnificent beasts, and have managed to scare every single one of my passengers demonstrating their innate rolling resistance. They powerslide like a dream.

Something something metaphor something

Ooh, boeing. Good luck.

@timdowling.bsky.social well done sir.

The downwind approach can be facilitated with an angel line: throw a line out of the back of the boat, do a loop around the casualty, cut the engine & drift on to them. Cold water causes heart attacks, do not let them climb on board, lift them up yourself.

Exploits of a Mom

I have a spam email address made of a random collection of letters and numbers, but what I really want is to register my user name as:

xkcd.com/327/

Because twitter is infected with bots, which are programmed to panic when they can't post.
Inflating user numbers and engagement in a shrill shill.

It's a poptart. They're prepared in a toaster. They're hot.

...because Netanyahu had a copy of the Epstein files containing allegations that Trump had murdered a child and threatened to release them.

The last time i had Maccas was over ten years ago, had a three day hangover from the chicken mc thigh. I'd rather go hungry.

"You clearly had a tone in mind"

B flat or Ring tone?

P.G. Wodehouse gets all the royalty checks. Ask Jeeves was a great side hustle while it lasted.

Isn't doing too well

www.ask.com/web?q=where%...

Eww. Twitter user.

Poor Peanut. ❤️

We could ask jeeves

Yoink

Its not taco tuesday, it's market manipulation

This ragebait is weaksauce.

Star war: a hope

Christopher Penn wrote: Just remember that given the abundance of neurodivergent people in science, it's far more likely that autism causes vaccines.

A different perspective.
Always helpful.

In greece the double parkers leave their handbrake off so the car can be pushed out of the way

Eat three of them, raw

This is the quality content I'm here for

Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTru.... 1d My daughter, Ivanka, just arrived in South Korea. We cannot have a better, or smarter, person representing our country. 37.4K 13.5K 89.6K Muscular Baby @Mobute Replying to @realDonaldTrump why not 1:09 pm 23 Feb 18 237 Retweets 2,014 Likes neotravis i laughed so hard just now that i spit on myself oh mmy god

All pizza is just a cheese toastie. A fancy cheese toastie, but still, Welsh Rarebit.

(Fyi Welsh Rarebit was invented first)