That's all Ragu® pasta sauce.

Five Ways to Improve Intimacy with Your Partner (Besides Sharing Needles) It's possible to reach a new level of closeness without being reckless or unhealthy.

There are more options for improving intimacy than you might think.

Skinny Poppy

JON WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INDUSTRIAL BAGEL?

Orgy Covers New Order's "Blue Monday," Hopes Everyone Forgot They Already Did SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Seminal late '90s, Hot Topic meets Nu-Metal band Orgy, best known for its first cover of New Order's "Blue Monday" in 1998, has basically released it again.

When reached for comment, Jay Gordon stated, "I don't know what you're talking about. That never happened."

Donald Trump to Release Industrial Album, Riveting News Out of Ideas WASHINGTON, DC—Let's say he recorded an industrial album featuring a single about fake news. Trump always get's attention, and we have to make it industrial related.

something something whatever

Might as well bring back kewl misspellings too

Probably the defining moment in Kraftwerk’s career was when they changed their name to Kraftwerk (from Uncle Horst and his Bratwurst Boys) and swapped their lederhosen and trombones for sharp suits and synthesisers

GRABYOURCHRISTMASTREE, by Elektro Vox 18 track album

I covered Fear’s punk classic Fuck Christmas for this comp that is raising money for a few cat charities. It’s a gosh darn great lineup, most of which don’t have songs with the f-word in the title!

elektrovox.bandcamp.com/album/grabyo...

Grendel Slain by Beowulf MADISON, WI—A man calling himself Beowulf stormed the stage and tore frontman JD Tucker's arm from his body,

Tragedy has befallen
@grendelband.bsky.social

In some states, it is illegal to perform live industrial music without dirty-neck makeup. Touring musicians should always check local ordinances before hitting the stage.

Grandmother Disapproves of Grandson's Lifestyle RUTHERFORD, CT—68-year-old Gladys "Nightwitch" Hanson is not happy with her grandson's chosen lifestyle.

"When Kyle started wearing American Eagle in high school, I thought it was just a phase. Then he went to college for business, and I really started to worry."

Morrissey Charging Extra for Non Meet & Greet Tickets When reached for explanation, Morrissey's publicist asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

Morrissey Charging Extra for Non Meet & Greet Tickets

Your favorite band stinks.
Toot.rivetingnews.org

Goth Softball Game Postponed After Two-Hour Sun Delay OSWEGO, IL—Asked if he was unhappy about the game being called, Team Captain Josh Bloodraven replied, "I'm always unhappy."

The game was paused as Josh Ravenblood was batting with two outs in the top of the fourth.

Ailing Cyber Goth Booted into Safe Mode LANCASTER, UK—The IT Department has been called in to a local night club after a cyber goth froze up on the dancefloor.

Thankfully, the venue keeps a recovery disc behind the bar.

#cybergoth #cyber #goth

Morrissey Charging Extra for Non Meet & Greet Tickets When reached for explanation, Morrissey's publicist asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

Fans can expect to pay upwards of $100 extra to avoid having a conversation with #Morrissey.

Dead Animal Assembly Plant Launches Build-A-Bear Workshop Franchise Customers can utilize parts of deceased creatures to construct their own customized dead animals.

UPDATE: Build-A-Bear Workshop, Inc. has filed an injunction against Dead Animal Assembly Plant stating they "never approved these ghastly changes to store operations."

In some states, it is illegal to perform live industrial music without dirty-neck makeup. Touring musicians should always check local ordinances before hitting the stage.

Opinion: Game Accurate Halo, ToeJam & Earl Series Would be Boring Gamers are upset that the series has strayed from the source material.

Give us something new. Shake things up. Just don't give anyone a nipple tattoo like the new Crow remake. #halo #toejamandearl

Taylor Swift Joins Tool Onstage at MSG to Perform “Stinkfist” - Madhouse Magazine In a most surprising collaboration, Taylor Swift joined Tool onstage at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The crowd...

The match made in hell left the audience screaming for more.

Taco Bell Introduces New Goth Wrap Supreme The announcement has sparked mixed reactions online, with some praising Taco Bell for catering to a previously underserved market.

Just updated an article to include commentary from a @bsky.app user because social media reactions to things are news now.

Timing is everything. #nailedit

Mall Santa Confesses to Being One True Santa, 14 Murders CHESTNUT GROVE, NC—A beloved mall Santa has revealed a closely guarded secret.

Interpol has since linked the man to multiple fatal stabbings across the globe involving a sharpened candy cane.

Thank you for the invite code!

@bsky.app You should know that letting me have this account without any invite codes has had the unintended side effect of me using my personal acct on the other site again because I realized I missed this. I didn't mean to; it just sort of happened. I'm not blaming you, but it is mostly your fault.

Opinion: Labeling Regular Donuts as Cream Filled Should be a Federal Crime Our editor thinks he can just rant about anything and publish it if he puts "Opinion:" in the headline.

Our editor thinks he can just rant about anything and publish it if he puts "Opinion:" in the headline.

Does everyone realize they can set their username to their domain name and get rid of the "bsky app" part?

Angelspit has never been brutal.

One time I had an MRI, and they asked me if I wanted headphones to listen to music, and I said, "No thanks. I'm about to hear some sweet industrial music."

Taylor Swift to Release Industrial Album, Riveting News Out of Ideas NASHVILLE, TN—Let's say she's recorded an industrial album featuring a single about her breakup with pop-country. Sound good?

YES