Two squadrons of pelicans flew in formation over my backyard, and apparently this is who I am now, deeply moved by pelicans.

Was more of a statement than a poor me thing but I appreciate the sentiment.

there isn’t enough time in the day to be a woman

Wanna find heart shaped rocks and throw them at each other..affectionately.

Those transition years between being cool and being cringe

puppy making a barking/howling face

the smallest awoo

Did you know that if you stop being overly considerate nothing happens except you get your time and energy back from entitled people? I didn’t.

A picture of the night sky above a roof. Lots of star trail arcs can be seen, as well as several straight lines and dashed lines from satellites and planes. A treetop can also be seen at upper right

A two-hour exposure of star trails in the northern sky above my house tonight. Of course lots of planes and satellites photobombed me to create those unsightly straight lines too 🫤

minding my own business is the best decision I've ever made

fighting the patriarchy by not telling this businessman his fly is down

plum tree = charcuterie board

Eating M&Ms off the floor = charcuterie board

I’ve been waiting on a black hole sun since ‘94

looking at yourself in a mirror until you dissociate is a hell of a drug

Your honor, I'd like to use the "I know you are but what am I" defense

don’t invite me to your party unless you have a mystery for me to solve

Black hole sun is just another name for the vagina.

🤯

Meat on a stick is top tier.

Is a popsicle a charcuterie board?

might start saying the p in receipt

Not now babe, I'm sorting my pills for the week

Hello, I would like to waste 3 seconds of your time. Thank you.

pretty confusing that drug companies market directly to the consumer but i’m wondering how a med that can cause severe, life threatening taint infections made it to market at all

One time, as a teenager, I drew a gravestone on my wall and laid down in front of it, told my mom I was staying there until I died. I lasted about 20 minutes.

😭

You ever make it to the crossroads in your life after keeping your head down, and doing the 'right thing', and discover that everything you worked for wasn't meant for you at all?

Is a shovel a charcuterie board?

Is a table a charcuterie board?!

Is anything that’s wood with food on it a charcuterie board or