How the Capybara Won My Heart—and Almost Everyone’s Else’s It’s not hard to understand why capys have a cultlike following on Instagram and TikTok. I fell for the giant rodent decades ago.

MOSTLY FOR @eelaware.bsky.social BUT ALSO ANYONE WHO FUCKING LOVES A CAPYBARA:

LOOK FOLKS, IT'S EITHER THIS OR I GO BACK TO THE BLACKOUT DRINKING DAYS OF 1993-2015. GUESS LOVE WINS THIS TIME.🤷

IF I'M NOT SAYING THIS HERE THING, I'M THINKING IT SO FUCKING HARD.

A REALLY, REALLY RUDE WELCOME MAT FOR ALL MY FRIENDS.

GETTING READY TO INVITE PEOPLE FOR THXGVG, AKA THE ONE WHERE GEN*CIDE AND LAND THEFT MAKE US GRATEFUL FOR ONLY HAVING TO SPEND ONE FUCKIN' DAY WITH RELATIVES PER YEAR.

T MINUS ONE HOUR THIRTY BEFORE THE UTTER DESTRUCTION OF SEVERAL SKYY HANDLES, BUDDY.

JEEBUS CRIPES, BOYO. WARN A TRICK WHEN YOU'RE FILMING YOUR AXEMAS SPECIAL FOR HULU.

IT JUST HIT ME THAT 'LAND STEALING & GENOCIDE DAY' IS NEXT WEEK AND YOU'RE ALREADY LOOKING LIKE THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS, FOOL.

I'VE LIVED A LONG TIME BUT NEVER... AND I MEAN NEVER... HEARD OF 'NO WHITE FOOD EATERS'

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE AND CAN WE SEND THEM TO LIVE IN SOLITUDE SOMEWHERE REMOTE AND TRULY TERRIBLE LIKE A CANNIBAL & SPIDER INFESTED RAINFOREST, OR MORGANTOWN WEST VIRGINA?

SRSLY, THIS IS A THING?

THANKS, TRICK.

I WAS PROMISED GAY THIRST TRAPS, AND GAY THIRST TRAPS I SHALL HAVE, GAWD DAMMIT.

SO WHERE DAFUQ ARE ALL THE GAY THIRST TRAPS THAT OUT MAGAZINE TOLD ME WERE HERE?

YOUR CRIB NEEDS MOAR CAPYBARAS, MY DUDE.

FUCKING ANYTHING JIM CARREY.

HEY YOU! HOW DO I MAKE YOU MY FRIEND SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE SUCH A SHITTY LOSER?

NOW WHAT DAFUQ DO I DO? ARE YOU MY FRIEND NOW OR DO I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FUCKING ELSE?