a close up of a squirrel sitting on a rock with a big smile on its face . ALT: a close up of a squirrel sitting on a rock with a big smile on its face .

A squirrel wif a sweet tooth 😁

‘Everyone knows I am an extraordinarily brilliant person, which is why I had my goons threaten anyone who might disclose my IQ score or academic records.’

Or a drunk

Iran is defo winning the meme war & the Ayatollah doesn’t even have to post images of himself with Jesus.

My Mom has had a life-long crush on him. She’s seen every Columbo episode at least a dozen times 😁

a little girl is sitting on a couch with a coffee box in the background ALT: a little girl is sitting on a couch with a coffee box in the background

So instead of a Commander in Chief, the US has a toddler they have to bribe out of the room with a UFC fight video & a Sippy Cup of Diet Coke to keep him from interrupting their strategy meetings.

Same here. And I have a lot of British friends who curse a lot 🙁

I know it’s easier said than done but try not to overstress. Whatever happens, you’ll deal with it together, with modern medical science on your side ❤️ 🐾 🐾 ❤️

The ketchup’s gonna hit the wall tonight 😁

😁

I’m very sorry to hear this 💔 Please pass along my condolences to MoMo’s mom 😢

👍👍

a black and white drawing of a llama on a motorcycle with the words born to be wild ALT: a black and white drawing of a llama on a motorcycle with the words born to be wild

🎵 Get your motor runnin’ 🎵

Talk about saying the quiet parts out loud 🙄

I’m a dog but I feel honored to live wif 2 cats who love me 😻😻

Kash says he’s ‘not going to take this laying down’, which is good because that’s a real choke hazard for drunks.

Happy Birfday, little pal! 🎂

Mom & Dad both noticed an extra spring in my step after the treatments but that could also be due to the delightfully brisk weather.

They can sue someone who knowingly publishes false accusations with malicious intent. It’s very difficult to prove malice, & he’s unlikely to prevail on the ‘knowingly false’ claim if the story came from FBI insiders.

I just started a regimen of cold laser therapy. It’s probably too soon to know whether it’s working but I do enjoy the sessions 🙂

It’s frustrating. Every test that comes back normal seems to identify something unrelated that needs a follow-up test ☹️

In that spirit, I’m suing Mom for saying I smelled like wet dog after I got caught in the rain this morning 😤

Yap, those spontaneous romps are the best 😃

That would explain the rotting flesh on his hands 🤔

If you live in Virginia and haven’t voted early, make sure you get to the polls tomorrow and vote YES!!

💙🩵💙🩵💙

Mom commiserates. This month she feels like she has a time-share in an MRI tube 🙁

My trainer (a very wise woman) said to ask the owner how they would feel if a stranger ran up, threw their arms around them & said, ‘It’s ok, I’m friendly!’

Lead us not away from temptation;
but deliver us to evil.
For thine is the spray tan,
the dour and the hoary,
Until the midterms.
Amen.

The Fraud's Prayer:
Our Father, who art in the White House,
hallowed be thy combover;
thy blingdom come;
thy will be dumb;
In Washington as you are in Florida.
Give us this day our daily round of golf.
And forgive us our insider trading,
as we refuse to forgive those who investigate against us...

And not really different from having a falling-down drunk Hegseth in charge of national defense or a toilet-seat-snorting, roadkill-eating RFK Jr in charge of public health.