Well isn't he just a smarmy piece of 💩

Good Morning! On this day, (Tuesday) April 21 in 1896 Geertruida Wijsmuller was born. She was a Dutch resistance fighter who brought Jewish children and adults into safety before and during the Second World War. She saved the lives of more than 10,000 Jewish children. #Herstory

Hard to believe we have bigger balls than they do, huh.

"If I tell you honestly that it sucks, Sweet Potato Saddam will hate me."

I'm gonna have to watch this again with sound (unfortunately) because now I wanna know why the fuck he thought that non-answer was gonna work!

As much as I fucking hate Trump, the movement dies with him because nobody can do the carnival barker routine as well as him. And even HE can't do it that well anymore.

I would be mad if it weren't true, tho 🤷‍♀️

No forgiveness, because this is yet another case of "I'm sorry I got caught."

He has an ulterior motive, give it time, he'll show it.

I still look at those posts and have this same reaction:

The frogs are free to be gay, now. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Please give her a hug for me, and tell her thank you for all she does.

I think they have a sample database of human DNA - enough to keep us from going extinct as a species - and they're saving it just in case they need to bring us back.

Anyone who claims they're deliberately showing us they're real is telling the truth. They want us to know they exist and watch us.

I stand with them 🫡

Sorry, *I refuse to argue on that count*

Fucking edit, please.

Seriously, tho, when Dad was in hospice, they were like silent angels coming and going and making everything seem better when you know its not gonna be better... 😢

Okay, I gotta stop thinking now

Wait, she works for hospice?

Oh, Bob. You didn't tell me you were married to an angel. Hospice workers are superheroes, and have the hardest job of everyone in the medical field - and refuse to argue on that count. You can't watch people 💀 day after day and keep going in.

The aliens are worried about us, too. They're worried we'll nuke ourselves back to the stone ages.

You've no idea how relieved I am he did the right thing.

I didn't want to have to rush to get a passport before midterms.

Ugh! I hope it passes soon 😔

The gods are weeping for humanity.

I mean, its true! Lucky for me, Laoban doesn't care. She just doesn't want me to be too high to work - which is fair because I can't work properly while stoned anyway.

a woman is laughing and saying `` too funny '' while wearing a floral shirt . ALT: a woman is laughing and saying `` too funny '' while wearing a floral shirt .

Perfect!

And they won't ALL be picture books.

"Danke - I mean, Xi-Xi!"

One day at the salon, the owner and I were in the back and she said she smelled something she thought was weed. I pulled out my vape and said "Does it smell like this?" She took a whiff and said no.

She knows I have my card, she don't care, as long as I'm not too fucked up to work.

That's not just any goose - that's a cobra chicken and if you make it mad, you better have the punting ability to hit square between the goal posts from the 50 yard line.

I just burped out a vape hit, so you know my night is going well 🙃🙃😶‍🌫️