Somebody take me out to a jazz club so I have an excuse to wear this again

Just got this cloudfare page trying to open twitter, thank you cloudfare for protecting me from the brain rot

Incredible, this is couture

God 15 years ago I found out one of my 5th grade classmates had become mayor of that town and I’ve never recovered (he did become mayor young but still!)

Mean while “war-torn” Portland Oregon doesn’t have sales tax at all

I use bullet points bc my coworkers and clients seem to be unable to read in paragraph form nowadays

My BIL was raving about it last time I visited, seems to be a hit with dads

Well there’s a type of unorthodox business plan named after a fellow named Ponzi, some might even call it a scheme,

Hello yes I would like to buy a Stock pls

I will forever choose to watch a grainy screen record video over opening YouTube, I just scroll right past those posts

Counterpoint: it should rain every single day between the hours of 2:30-4:30pm so I can read my little book in a coffee shop and listen to it :)

8yo kid in a Darth Vader mask with an inflatable lightsaber, surrounded by his friends

Said kid taking a nap in Darth Vader mask under a window. Pooped from all the lightsaber battling

My nonverbal nephew’s hyper fixation is Star Wars. Specifically the dark side. My mom gave him this mask for his bday and he hasn’t taken it off since

It’s like facing a barrage of missiles heading directly for your front door and deciding to just drink tea about it

Wow this one is so expressive. Incredible work

Oh I added these to cart SO fast thank you for spreading the good news. You’re a toilet screw evangelist

So inspirational thank you lukelukeluke

I am SO sad the book signing was cancelled tonight

Incredible things happening on linked in

Zendaya is always a beautiful person but seeing her with red hair just gave me the exact same feeling of awe that I felt looking at the Scottish highlands or the sunset over the ocean. Like just the majesty of the earth and also Zendaya with red hair

I have somehow managed to avoid learning the definition of groyper up till now. Debating whether it’s worth it to finally google

That stock photo with the Conway,AR tag is sending me. Dudes should look like that Druski sketch

I dated a man who looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on and couldn’t get enough of me when we were alone but ultimately dumped me bc he was worried I wasn’t hot enough to impress other men lmao what a dumbass

22 is still too damn young tbh

Every time I meet someone my age who has a 20yo kid I involuntarily react with horror for a moment as if they just told me they gave birth at 12 before I remember

Said vast twice and that’s bugging me

Trying to fall asleep after watching a show featuring my niche fear of floating untethered into the vast emptiness of space in a space suit, waiting to die while staring into the cold horror of the vastness of the cosmos. aka the premise of Space Oddity which is now stuck in my head as well

Never played that one! We didn’t have an n64. We only had a SNES bc it was a hand me down from my cousin when he got an n64 hah

It does!! When the batteries aren’t dead lol

Also I am a bit biased bc I too have a rainbow skull that stays out 24/7

Hahaha oh good!! I was wondering why he would buy this for you and then make you hide it! I guess he can stay