putting some lipstick on through the rim of last night’s cup

if you think about it neil josten is kinda like the avatar

the air of the bell jar wadded around me and i couldn’t stir.

Kevin is sick of them ✏️ #aftg #andreil

screenshot of an excerpt from chapter 5 of andreil fanfic “Heart Out” by Moonix that reads the following: (Neil couldn’t really reply and dropped his gaze to the bottles instead. Renee took this as confirmation and handed him the whisky with a wry little smile. “Actually,” Neil said, thinking about Kevin who was currently eating cereal on the floor of their dorm watching a quiz show and trying to guess all the answers before the competitors, “maybe we shouldn’t bring this. It’s barely noon.” “Quite right,” Renee agreed easily. “How about some popcorn instead? I think we have a few bags left over from the last movie night…”)

in other news i was literally thinking of this scene the other day and then randomly came across the fic again today archiveofourown.org/works/178546...

i just want to hold her again i miss her so much idt she knew how much i loved her

i hate how i’ll just randomly remember how my cat died and burst into tears i hate it i hate this i hate it so much

happy birthday 🎊🎈

parted my hair on the right instead of the left I don’t know who this bitch in the mirror is

puts him in my pocket 🤏🏼

this type of living is ok

watched a smosh reads reddit episode and thought about andrew minyard while i knit

had some ice cream and did a few more rows of knitting

man andrew minyard is so fucking sexy

also my gloves smell weird.. like old oil :/

did two rows of knitting and i’m tapping out. my joints too weak. my hand too hurt.

and some things that are a little sad but supposedly hopeful, i however am fresh out of any feelings of hope so…

i had to take a pause from fic reading cause i kept sobbing at things that aren’t sad at all

it’s very relatable

i have chicken in the fridge that needs to be dealt with but i can’t roll up my sleeves and the thought of chicken juices landing on them makes me want to pull my hair out and vomit in no particular order

screenshot of a quote from the king’s men by nora sakavic that reads: “Maybe refusing to want anything else was a coping mechanism. He couldn't have it, so there was no point resenting its absence. Paranoia helped reinforce that mindset over the years until keeping people at arm's length was the only logical thing to do.”

all the time i miss her

i miss my cat

apparently i can’t read fics that feature cats anymore

i’m glad my aftg fixation came back apparently i’ve missed a few moonix fics since.. that’s all the living i need atm.

‪“oh let’s go down to *****” baby not with this lot i’d much rather rot ‬

i know i’m meant to be living but i can’t think of a single person around i want to live with

nothing i can think of

bored as fuck. i miss andreil.

kandreil ✏️ #aftg