Finger booping Christopher Walken on the nose

These boops were made for Walken

i don’t bless people i don’t have that kind of power

Maybe it would be easier to list the films that aren’t Christmas movies

get in loser; we're being destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked

There should be a song about what to do if a mockingbird don’t sing

Trump appoints Martin Shkreli to be the Bored Ape Non-Fungible Token Czar.

I referred to a surprising turn in a student story as an “‘oh shit’ moment,” and about five minutes later a different student referred to the same moment as the story’s “dramatic fulcrum” so now it must be time for winter break.

JW: hi. im Johnny. Johnny Walker
JB: hey. im Jim. Jim Beam
me: Jesus Christ either im drunk of it’s the whiskey talking

Marisa Tomei turns 60 Wednesday but she still looks 30 Tomei.

I am here to make friends with other Cybertruck haters

Happy 189th Birthday to Mark Twain! I think he'd be happy to see that Percival Everett's excellent novel JAMES won the National Book Award one week ago. Twain is always relevant because he never pointed a finger without understanding that three fingers were pointing back at himself.

Happy Give-thanks-ing! All the sirens are going off here on Spaceship Earth and the red lights are flashing but we still exist and so gratitude still exists.

"Random" should be spelled with whatever fuckin letters you feel like using

How come we can’t close our ears?