this April fools day, think of your local freelance creative directors and brand strategists who insisted that yes, the CPG brand needed a dumb April fools post and yes, their audience would totally get it 🫡

tell me why i used my sweetgreen points on a piece of focaccia that was drier than the crust of bread jean valjean stole

Such a fun conversation!!

the weather really said “salt air…” 🧂💨

entourage (2004)

watching my husband play blackjack like

Van Gogh was a millennial, confirmed

can’t believe some of you manifested the 2000s coming back so hard that we’re now in another terrible war in the Middle East

*film bro voice* on the anniversary of the sopranos finale I realized
David Chase’s intent: for fans to interpret the episode “any way you want it”

“Elon, YOU’RE the wound!”

I got a list of names and yours is crossed out or underlined - Look What You Made Me Do (Logan Roy’s Version)

“Lemon, after Stanley Tucci jumped ship to Nat Geo, this was the next best character actor we could get” - 2025 Jack Donaghy

Lancôme juicy tubes returning is the biggest recession indicator

2005 2025
🤝
Going to Abercrombie with my mom

every email from the citizen app is like “hey wanna have a panic attack about something that happened not even remotely near you”

the name HBO Max rising up from the dead

pov: the new pope is visiting his favorite restaurant

thinking about how if Taylor swift had named this song the grey dog it could be about dating literally any shitty person at nyu

EDM was so good for socially awkward people at parties because they all knew what to do at the drop

nyc taxes be like

just googling “can you klarna your taxes” for no reason at all

and as I gazed up at the giant billboard I couldn’t help but wonder…are all Bunnies this…Bad?

when a bag of produce says it’s “washed and ready” I don’t give it a second thought. how big ag got it there is between them and god

how it feels to place my final forever 21 order

drunk you writing a post it for sober you in the morning

when your friend says “I’m so done with him” for the 28373647th time

why is that girl singing so fast make it stop why is she singing about an apple why is everything puke green why is it so confusing to be a GURL - me last summer

haim summer is for all the girlies who didnt wanna admit that brat songs made them feel anxious (me, I am the girlies)

maybe we wouldn’t be so fucked if lance bass succeeded in going to space

“in der klerb, we all fam” - lady Gaga’s new album mayhem, basically