woman: so what do you do for work?

reigning thumb wrestling world champion: i’m thumbemployed

i’m lowkey goated when knowing if someone has done whippets in a public restroom within the last 15 minutes is the vibe

“i like the muppets“ — cool. very chill. niche. adult but in a fun way

“i like [cartoon explicitly made for children]” — less cool. not as chill. challenging to witness

Luigi's Manifesto Exclusive: read Luigi Mangione's 262-word manifesto on the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO

I got the Luigi Mangione manifesto. The real one, not the forgery circulating online. www.kenklippenstein.com/p/luigis-man...

honestly the only thing to take away from this is that the two failed trump assassins just weren’t hot enough to pull it off

you can use this for free but you have to credit me: man on the street style tiktok where you ask a pedestrian wearing headphones what they’re listening to but the pedestrian is on their way to murder a healthcare CEO

gilmore girls is 5’9” man propaganda

the loneliest horniest thing a married 31 yo man can do is comment “happy birthday” on a woman’s facebook wall was tough to watch josh

i watched that interview and i think the question is fine and i think making fun of the interviewer is lame but also i thought this was a good joke

kings let me save you some time knowing all the lyrics to defying gravity from wicked will not get you dome but what will get you dome is holding space for the lyrics to defying gravity from wicked

hold on let me share my screen — yeah okay so in this screenshot we are seeing a flashback to shadow on the space colony ARK with gerald robotnik’s grand daughter maria. sorry? oh yes i’ll get back to the deck in just a minute. no i don’t think this can wait, sonic 3 comes out in less than a month

till the windows crack i’ll be bumping that (audiobook about the history, formulation, and limitations of the ACA)

never been a harder time for cishet men who did theatre so much of our sparkle has been taken from us

listen if you thought i wasn’t going to walk into your little coffee shop order a little coffee and a couple pastries maybe visibly struggle to carry all that i have purchased so much that you offer to hold the door for me you thought wrong okay

man who just won the ribbon for world’s largest slider:

thank you for the award everyone but i really need to run i have a worlds smallest hamburger contest to get to

i’ll happily take your punch ups

man: idk it just seems kind of small

other man who just made the worlds largest slider: no you see it’s actually quite large

we should all be mercilessly bullied for even having bluesky accounts