Unimprovable headline

From the latest Private Eye, out now.

First he's going to impose a naval blockade on Vatican City.

Let me get this straight: JD Vance claims to be a Catholic, but he warns the Pope to "be careful?" Man, back in my day, Sister Mary Aileen would have slapped that insubordinate twerp upside the head so hard he'd end up in the choir loft.

So he thinks that's what scrubs look like?

Talk about somebody who should go the fuck back to where she came from.

Trump probably sent those worthless losers to "negotiate" because Bibi told him to, and the results were exactly what that Israeli slimeball wanted.

Now do Erdoğan.

Absolutely no disrespect to Steve Sando & @ranchogordo.bsky.social - love their stuff - but does anybody remember Elizabeth Berry (later Elizabeth Sebastian), who was really the first to champion (and disseminate) heirloom bean varieties, out of New Mexico, to the general populace in the late 1980s?

If we let Maxwell out, can we at least put Dershowitz in?

Two people who look like they're dreaming about their next root canal.

Actually, I think Adam Back is Banksy.

Does JP Donleavy count? If so, then definitely The Ginger Man.

Too bad there's not a 25th Amendment for blockheaded congressional fossils.

1. Ye
2. Everything Irish, just to fuck with Rory
3. Everybody wants to be associated with UCLA

Talk about a random yahoo.

Jeez, you'd think that a reporter for ABC News would know how to just ask a damn question.

McIlroy opted not to honor his home country of Northern Ireland...with his menu... The reasoning for that, he said...is very simple. “People keep asking me, ‘Why didn’t you go more Irish?’ Because I want to enjoy the dinner as well.” Dude's a good golfer, but a gastronomic idiot.

Yeah, Bibi and MBS.

Sure hope Iran doesn't treat Israel like Israel treated Gaza.

Screenshot of a tweet by Rep. Ted Lieu stating that U.S. military law prohibits war crimes, including strikes on civilian infrastructure that cause disproportionate harm. The tweet warns that service members must disobey illegal orders and could face prosecution by a future administration if they commit war crimes.

Rep. Ted Lieu isn't backing down.

Don't forget that before he's crucified, he's supposed to get scourged with a flagrum...

Yeah!!! I might live in Connecticut, but my heart is still with my alma mater.

So what's the point of all this anti-prologue stuff? The prologue is past?

The "Stone Ages" came quite a while before the Middle Age, right?

Rough tough cream puff.

"The Stone Ages..."

Presumably this decision, based on First Amendment grounds, also means that medical professionals can legally recommend abortion to their patients when appropriate, right? Or have those Christian nationalists, not exactly famed for their intelligence, thought this through?

Disappointed that the NYT obit of Chip Taylor didn't mention his collaboration with Carrie Rodriguez. Such good music.

Hey, if I were one of these soulless bozos, I wouldn't want to look inward either.