I love having free will so I can choose to not answer the phone for a number I don't recognize.

Make it a full year so they actually have to file and pay taxes at least once.

The Simple Life: Life on the Poverty Line.

Actually, someone reach out to Paris Hilton. I feel like she would be the perfect producer for this.

At least he gave him 3 arms🤷‍♀️

Insert appropriate slang reply here. But first, assume I know what slang to reply. I feel like 6/7 might work but I really have no clue.

This is an acceptable use of AI slop.

I'm so using this the next time I have a job interview 😂

And isn't that why the Internet was invented to begin with? To share our dumbest moments and be made to feel normal?

Give him peanut butter 😁

I'm ashamed to admit, I am sitting down to watch Jean-Claude Van Damme's Street Fighter for the first time. No spoilers.

I'm less than 10 minutes in and I can already tell this is going to suck in the best possible way😂😂😂

And those come hither red and raw nose and eyes?

I mean, I'm about to blow...........

my nose just thinking about it 😉🤧

I will never watch a NASA mission the same way again 😂

Oh. I contain red 40🫤 and chemicals identified by the State of California to be linked to or contribute to cancer diagnoses.

My mind is melting trying to comprehend it.

Some things don't change.

BC Canada just went to permanent spring forward. Come visit us in November to watch the time not change 😁

Them: How're you?
Me:

Ask yourself, would you feel safe taking that bet, if you were us?

Let me be clear, I desperately wish it wasn't the case. I hate this feeling. And I hate that angry teenaged me was right.

And before you come for me, yes, I know it's not all men, but it's enough men that it's an almost universal experience for women.

The revelations that have come out lately of the behaviour of men have sent me right back to those highschool days; when men justify or downplay their offenses; they believe they are entitled and women are less.

As time went on, I wasn't done talking about it, but after a while, people were done listening and life went on as if nothing had happened. Even I eventually convinced myself that it wasn't all that bad.

For rhe remainder of highschool, I kept myself so seperate from men, that people thought I was a lesbian. Honestly, I kinda preferred it that way.

I had a few friends who understood and we walked away from that group and never went back.

It fundamentally changed the way I saw men. I no longer trusted them to even respect me on the most basic level of human.

The people in our circle took his side because I was obviously overreacting and it wasn't all that bad.

There was even another one of our friends(male) in the room when it happened, watching it happen.

I pleaded with him to to make it stop.

He did nothing.

The perpetrator didn't see anything wrong with what he had done because if I had just let it happen, I would have liked it. It was a compliment.

At the same time, he told me to stop talking about it cuz people were judging him.

(going dark for a sec)
When I was in highschool, I was sexually assaulted, because of course I was. In the days and weeks that followed, I was struck, not only by the impact of the incident itself, but the way people around me reacted.

Hang on now. We gotta have SOME standards. Every red blooded American should be showering at night.

I will not be taking questions.

(This has been a bad joke made by a Canadian, so take it how you will)

He doesn't look like his dressing 🤔

Anyone know a really bad place to meet singles? I'm trying to justify why I'm still single by reminding myself how bad it is out there.

If your April Fool's joke involves getting my hopes up then dashing them, fuck you. We're done.

That's all.