i rhink i will if i can just work up the courage

im so tired of being someone im so tired of existing i wish i could just leave

for lesbian visibility week i will be leaving my corporeal form and becoming the concept of love and hope, madoka style

HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK WE ARE AWESOME WE ARE COOL WE ARE VISIBLE I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🧡🤍🩷❤️

happy lesbian visibility week all of my non-lesbian oomfs owe me 50 dollars

Hahaha, you truly are intriguing. Never would I have imagined that you'd give me this sort of gift—though I do admit, my public life does make it a useful one.

who i would be around them based around their behaviors and what they brought out of me. and for a while i thought that went away but i've just been doing the same thing but instead of external, it was more internal

ive always thought it was just cause i have a very eclectic taste, or that i was trying to ignore the notion that it rlly is smth deeper than just general aesthetics. but i remember a point in my life where i was extremely conscious of my personality changes when making new friends and choosing-

ive always struggled with my identity and how i want to show up and tbh i didnt think much of how much my hair has been a very good visualization of that issue, cause i change my hair constantly with the intention of being someone different than i was with a previous haircolor

i really have no idea who or what i want to be because i want to be so many things in terms of perception in the world we live in but at my core all i want is to be a tree or a flower or a mushroom

im having a very transcendental experience rn cause i looked in the mirror and felt like i was rlly seeing myself and who i was and ive been thinking abt alot of ppl trying to teach success say "visualize who you want to be and be that person without shame" and i was rlly thinking, at my core-

its like when i was a kid and i used to sit on all fours on my bed and sway my head side to side

im incredibly high rn when i move it feels like im floating and when i close my eyes i feel like im like in water andim like fucking waving my arms on my bed #autism

god im stimming so hard

LET IT ALL GO

#shuake #akeshu #persona5

🥺🥺 ren you're too nice for your own good

i miss akechi

I appreciate people so much that are more direct with their feelings or intentions or thoughts. as someone who struggles in social interactions it’s such a big thing for me truly. constantly trying to dissect conversations to watch for if you missed a cue or said something wrong is so overwhelming.

based based based based based

i love him so much

hi basil

years of torture and hell living in ur body and head with nowhere to go.

its like going through literal torture and hell and trying to wrap those years of torture and hell into a neat and digestible little bow because you know that if u actually act like you went through years of torture and hell that, from experience, ppl don't like that. so then u just have-

but its a fucking baby whos calm and collected feelings are just as meaningful to it as a mortgage

like its kinda like being a baby crying who didnt get the attention it needed, and will keep crying because it needs attention, but now the baby knows that crying wont get it attention and can actually push people away, so it stops crying and tries to calmly collect its feelings-

like idk how to feel my emotions. its either all consuming and awful and makes me want to die or ive distanced myself from them completely, which is usually when im able to communicate effectively, but idk if im actually over it or ive just shut them off or went a dif direction

i rlly wish i didnt start pathologizing and studying my behaviors at such an early age cause even tho its been beneficial in fostering healthy relationships, im still missing out on actually expressing my emotions which is, unfortunately, still bad for your body.