just showed wife Billy Madison for the first time. The first thing she says when it ends:

“Poor the O’Doyles.”

wife just told me that when she was 6 years old she thought Bill Clinton and Crocodile Dundee were hot

some Zodiac ciphers still remain unsolved

I was mad the entire runtime. slop for troughs. it was like watching reddit comment riffing.

unlike the corpse that i eat. that magically floated out of the animal (that was happy by the way) and onto my plate in a convenient puck or nugget form.

always there when I need him the most

Last Four Friday

Fourth time’s the harm.

“Vegan food’s gots all them chemicals in it.”

canadians get their toasters at the tire store

are they gonna try and tie He-Man and this stupid fucking protein fad together?

Sam Worthington and Gael Garcia Bernal what on Earth are you doing in one of those right wing christian movies

have you considered feeding the Bluesky
servers copious amounts of protein?

looking over netflix again to decide if its worth keeping after another price hike and I’m scrolling through an endless field of “new” content that looks like actual garbage refuse meant for the incinerator. how can you not feel absolute embarrassment and shame watching any of this?

A lot of people dont know this but bluesky just does not work around 5 am

and also, ominously, one to unlock “horror”

They also have a “mind control” series where the album is meant to unlock your ability to do certain things better. like play golf. or fuck.

the label this is on has so many little treasures. like this ambient/electronic album credited to an actual aloe plant.

some remarkably soothing ambient to start the morning. really wish i could find this on CD

I WILL NOT WATCH THAT GODZILLA TRAILER. I AM STRONG OF WILL. I AM ENGORGED WITH METTLE AND APLOMB.

resting bitch aura

lol remember when the dilbert guy died

everyone made sure to have a protein bagel or bowl of protein cereal with their protein coffee this morning right? you need 20g of protein per hour of screentime. these ads aren’t going to look at themselves.

should be super illegal to send me this email and then tell me nothing in my area is gonna get it

wife couldnt remember an actor’s name and her hint to me was “that lefty guy from the hotel movie”

Jingle All the Way Director’s Cut

i am doing aggressive praxis: posting