How is he only -12?

Zero chance you look this chodelike and hesitantly voted for Trump.

Naturally, human turd Mike Johnson hasn’t seen it and will have no comment.

Saw the Wild Party at Encores last night. I saw the shirt-lived original and it was one of my favorite shows of all time. This one should transfer asap. It holds up.

Dear NY tour guides: do not bring a pile of Iowans into Union Square station and position them by two staircase while you point out interesting factoids about the subway system unless you want all of them to become a statistic.

Hand to god, the casting of Oh, Mary just reaches into my wallet and takes my cash every time.

I’m so tired of the way democratic voters behave. We ain’t ever winning shit again.

As a Gen Xer with anxiety, I would kindly like these motherfuckers to fuck themselves so hard they give themselves a disability.

“But we paid you!” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

For my 20th service anniversary, my company is offering me a choice of some gifts, one of which is a snack pack with a bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa and a jar of queso. Like, just kick me in the nuts. Jesus.

In an administration full of idiots, he really stands as the dumbest of the dumb.

You literally can't make jokes about media headlines. Ever.

Mamdani just needs to go back to the White House, hand the toddler a golden key to the city, and we’ll get Medicare for all.

Why didn’t he move to Florida already

so you gonna combat yourself then?

Everyone just needs to start throwing snowballs and accidentally hitting NYPD. All day, every day.

As usual, the police are such baby-ass snowflakes it almost boggles the mind.

Once again, our future hangs in the balance on a corporation's desire for money.

That $30/$45 was picked from the pockets of our POOR, BELEAGUERED BILLIONAIRES!

That's right! The left cheers on murder and hitmen. Mike Lee is an absolute trashbag dope.

His brain is also full of holes.

So they’ll fuck it up.

Why are they doing this to me?

Can ee spray them with some fentanyl-laced urine as they move? Plain urine will also be fine.

Erick Erickson, welcome to the Fairness Doctrine.

At this point, the only acceptable outcome for all these people is prison.

So many more people need to be told that no one gives a fuck what they think, over and over and over until they internalize it.

I swear the band names on concert festivals all sound fake. Bugnugget, Gristle, Small Town Dyke, Cravous, Krayvu$, DJ Krave Yas, Dark Meat No Sides, Creed.

jesus christ, don't scare me like that about national treasure Dina Martina!

Megyn Kelly is practicing racism the right way.
-Ezra Klein