I'm hearing Trump tried to literally nuke Iran over the weekend, but was prevented by General Caine. Who knows if it's true or not. Every single day is something soul extinguishingly shitty with this confederacy of dipshits, so absolutely nothing is beyond belief.

Erika Kirk is failing miserably and is unlikely to maintain her current role as America's Chief Cunt for Christ. SAD!

ABC NEWS STILL INSISTS ON FAKE PRO-TRUMP HEADLINES EVEN WHEN THE ACTUAL VIDEO EXPLICITLY STATES THE STRAIT IS FUCKING CLOSED. ARREST ALL OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS FOR COMPLICITLY IN TREASON AND MARKET MANIPULATION!

Now that Iran is opening fire on oil tankers, every news outlet should issue a retraction. Every journalist who mindlessly went along with Trump's lies should grovel and apologize for sucking so much ass at their jobs. Then they should resign and flog themselves publicly.

Every single major news outlet mindlessly reporting Trump's statements as fact needs to be charged with complicity in market manipulation. It is absolutely Orwellian how even ABC news is reporting the Strait is open WHEN IRAN'S MILITARY IS TELLING SHIPS "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Eat a dick!"

I can't get over this shit. Trump just plagiarized Obama's Iran deal, made it exponentially shittier -- and then after convincing the world he was about to implement it -- it all turns out to be complete bullshit. Yet again, just a way to play the markets on a Friday.

I FUCKING TOLD YOU! It was all one big ass market manipulation. The Strait of Hormuz is not "fully open." It's not even fucking half open. Literally nothing has fucking changed. A handful of ships exempted by Iran are passing through after paying. INSIDER TRADING STRIKES AGAIN!

Let's be real. America got its shit pushed in by Iran. Iran's once crumbling regime has been resurrected politically, emerging from this war with more power and prestige on the world stage than it's had in ages. It gains $20 billion and gets to charge tolls like a bridge troll.

We've seen this movie before. The White House hypes up some magical peace deal and starts blowing sparkly unicorn farts out of its ass for the markets. Only to shit itself over the weekend and pretend no such agreement ever happened. A classic pump and dump for all the chumps.

JESUS CHRIST, CORPSE ON A STICK! Not only did Trump double down on blasphemy by posting an image of him jerking off Jesus, but now Pete Hegseth is LITERALLY preaching a fake gospel quote straight out of PULP FICTION. It's like MAGA is an elaborate prank by Reddit atheists. WOOO!

I want to call every MAGA Christian family member and acquaintance I have. Get baked and just preach to them about how they need to accept Trump as their new lord and savior. Congratulate them on feeding their souls to Baal and Moloch before growling "HAIL SATAN!" and hanging up.

STOP THE BLASPHEMY! I just had a heartfelt conversation with Satan. He's fucking pissed, man. Donald Trump can expect a lawsuit for defaming the character of the anti-Christ. The true anti-Christ will be a badass who taxes the churches and ushers in universal healthcare. Not this... dementia dick.

We CANNOT let Iran have nuclear weapons. So, uh, that's why we have to blockade their blockade even if it means picking a fight with China, who is an ACTUAL nuclear power capable of slaughtering 90% of America's population with the push of a few buttons. 4D DIPSHIT CHESS!

It's just.. too fucking good to be true. It's like someone made me the head of his fucking Truth Social account. Some blasphemous motherfucker that hates his guts and wants him to alienate every single Christian that ACTUALLY believes in their faith. I'm cumming.

The motherfucker literally looks like he's trying to raise Jeffrey Epstein from the dead. Look at the demonic figures above him! I mean, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? It's like someone on his team WANTS him to be impeached.

JESUS CHRIST, CORPSE ON A FUCKING STICK! I'm an atheist and that'll never change. But as someone raised Christian and forced to watch shitty End Times rapture fiction like "Left Behind," it is fucking CREEPY how Trump fits every single goddamn depiction of the anti-Christ.

You gotta fucking love it, man. Trump is setting everyone up for political failure. JD Vance is sent to a failed negotiation and leaves Pakistan with his little dick in his hand. Meanwhile Marco Rubio is at UFC watching sweaty men punch each other in the face and simulate sodomy.

And yeah. many in MAGA would love to do the same. Whether Christofascist or Islamist, there's no such thing as a good theocrat.

A friendly reminder it's possible to oppose the war and despise Trump without dick riding the fucking "Islamic Republic." AI generated Lego videos and rap songs don't change the fact the Iranian regime uses industrial cranes to hang young girls for "crimes against chastity."

Let's be real. The average UFC fan possesses a sub-human intellect. I mean, just supernaturally stupid, dead-behind-the-eye dipshits with a deep passion for homoerotic violence. The fact Trump can't even get cheered at these freak shows is a testament to his political peril.

Sure you will, my dear dipshit. I sincerely hope the voices in your head provide a lifetime of excellent legal advice.

I'm serious. I wish there was a porn channel that aired nothing but MAGA farmers crying about losing their great granddaddy's legacy and "Hispanics for Trump" dipshits getting deported, screaming in tears as they reach out for their loved ones in vain. I'd beat my shit raw.

I could never be a politician. I'd have to pretend to respect protest voters and disgruntled MAGA dipshits. Some kumbaya bullshit. When in reality, witnessing their suffering is one of the only pure sources of joy in 2026 America. Their pain is chicken noodle soup for my soul.

Especially you, Barron. You daddy long legs, incestuous, soulless freak motherfucker. Abusing animals & nannies your entire rancid life. One of the most prolific insider traders in American history. Tons of crimes there to dig up. All a Dem AG needs is a big goddamn shovel.

Every single crypto wallet associated with the Trump crime family must be seized by the next administration. Anyone with eyes sees the blatant pillaging of our tax dollars, the corrupt influence schemes. Leave every rotten fucking Trump spawn destitute and imprisoned.

I'm not a nice person. Hell, I'm not even a good person. And never once have I claimed to be. You won't make me feel shame for my shitposts. I'd like to say I respect those who disagree with me, but often they are insufferable dipshits. So, ya know, that'd be a lie.

I'm not, but it's okay. I know people with your limited mental capacity must cling to fictional caricatures when encountering someone who disagrees with them. It's the only way your simple little brain can process the world. I don't hold it against you. Anyways, let's forget each other's existence.

Thank you kindly. I appreciate the feedback.

How touching. You should write a poem. It impacts me in no way because I'm not responsible for Swalwell's actions. Although I find it pretty sick how you so easily dismiss the very real male victims of sexual harassment and assault. Predatory behavior is a sickness that is blind to gender.

This impacts my life in no way. Why, exactly, would it ever alter my sleep schedule? We'll happily forget each other's existence shortly after this conversation fizzles out and all will be merry.