are they gonna change the name of Apple now that Tim Apple is leaving

I bet Bennett and Gabe are Stewart Lee fans

Baby Steps Developers React to 7 Minute Speedrun YouTube video by IGN

this video of the devs of Baby Steps "reacting" to a speedrun and just completely puncturing through the insincerity of reaction vids in general is SUCH a joy youtu.be/gQx_S_iu-g8?...

this donald trump guy seems like a bit of a character huh

i know im a dumb idiot but this made me laugh an embarrassing amount

It's a circus. I emailed one in Berlin and asked if they could see me this week and they said there was a two month waitlist and when I said it was maybe very urgent she said, "it will be fine, you will probably still be in crisis in september"

Kill Jester?! The Wildest Adventure Call Quest Begins! #shorts YouTube video by SlammDunk Productions

youtube.com/shorts/sktL9...

gonna call my first child Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and insist everyone say it in full

i have a feeling melania's about to fall down the stairs all the way to the golf course, know what i mean like

haven't had sex for so long that i went to a llama sanctuary just so something would spit in my mouth

When my dad turned 60 he decided to run a kilometer every day. Fair play to the old git, he's probably somewhere near Minsk by now

cut my cake into pieces
this is my lemon torte
decoration, no kneading
put it in the fridge and it sets without heating
this is my lemon torte

one of my hobbies is calling up businesses i don't work at and telling them i quit

If being sexy was a crime I'd be in jail, for tax evasion

a healthy ginger cat in the foreground, it's head tilted and one eye closed, surrounded by the debris and devastation of an airstrike in the background

This is an amazing photo from the AFP (taken today in southern Beirut)

It's a first for me. For a moment I thought... cool. But then I thought... way to make an autistic kid feel different

this is the wildest sign i've ever seen

ok hear me out.

jurassic park prequel about john hammond's flea circus.

actually here in england we call him jesus crisps

It's because

guh why they have to make weights so heavy

well well well if it isn't the emotions i've been suppressing

hehehgehehehge

pharmacy girl asked me how my day was going while she put the antibiotics on the counter. "Not so good ive got chlamydia again" i said

celt fruit, might delete later

my five-year business strategy is to find an old pirate's chest full of gold doubloons

[trump war plan scrawled on the back of a box of adderall]

day one: kill khomeini

day two: iran becomes Independent State of Amerisrael

day three: dana white installed as president

day four: FREE GAS FOREVER!!!

day five: trump nobel peace prize

pretty depressing that our era's henry kissinger jared fuckin kushner, whose only expertise is sitting upright in a chair

i think that makes john oliver our chomsky though, so swings and roundabouts

You better be sorry, keep your sandworm to yourself

sorry i yelled THE SPICE MUST FLOW while we were having sex