Mid @justdustyrhodes.com mild beatdown I had to be like hey sorry I actually have to put on Madonna’s 1998 album Ray of Light Right This Fucking Second and 1. I was correct to do so 2. He rolled with it flawlessly which is all I can ask for

Headbanging then sleeping on a couch that’s too short for my tall ass is currently ruining my shit

Devoncore move to only ever take the bus anywhere unless ☝️ i have the option to get railed. This $8 Lyft is the best money I’ve spent this month

T looked at me so proudly this weekend and was like “I’m fully vaccinated!” This is the greatest

If I can ever get past the driving issue and be normal about it again my life will be so much better I swear the fuck to god

I wish there was a way for me to bus to Seattle then drive back without incurring the costs of depositing a rental in another country bc I don’t wanna drive to Seattle during the fucking DAY bro

Polyamory perks of the week; one boyfriend drops you off at surgery and one boyfriend picks you up. Honorary mentions to the gal pal and third boyfriend for having offered to send food/bring me what I need 😭

My bf’s wife was the first person to tell me to watch the gay hockey show so obviously she got so many messages from me about it but I sent this one and instantly was like well that’s revealing isn’t it considering that’s exactly the relationship I have with your husband 💀💀💀💀

Gaayyyyyyy

Can’t wear the dress I was gonna wear tomorrow because I have one perfectly round bite mark and then like fifteen claw marks on my titties lmao

Every time I hit bottom of a pot on one of the few lush products I still buy or have to buy spices from the shop I used to work I just heave the world’s biggest sigh for discounts past 😭

Yesterday I said “date idea we sit down and donate to Wikipedia together” and then today we did it 😭😭😭

You may have seen twimst before but I got hit with a “whimcht” the other day and wow that hit

Everything about this relationship will always be the funniest thing ever like I’m so sorry but what.
Someone tell past Devon about this they’ll lose their fucking mind

Like I’ve never been more built for something (except I haven’t sold vibes since 2012 so I’m not up on my knowledge but still)

Another level of polyamory my boyfriends wife just asked if I would take him vibrator shopping for her 😩

Thinking about S telling me their wife once had a moment of worry like “what happens if Devon gets pregnant” (because she loves to have an evil daydream) and he got to be like “well, great news there…” LOL

“AI is clearly sticking around so you have to get used to it” wrong. I don’t have to get used to shit. I am a practiced hater and I can keep this going for decades if I am required to

In other news @ rain or shine why don’t yall ever have sauce in there. You have a cranberry cheesecake flavour with negligible cranberry when the sauce aspect is right there? Your salted caramel doesn’t have ribbons of the namesake? I’ll kill you

I actually can’t think about anything in this scenario because I’ll burst into hysterical laughter and never stop

Also I can’t tell you how good it feels to not respond to his texts but drag him to his wife instead knowing she’ll say it to him like I can’t stop laughing about this

In other news I told him I need a longer desk so we can game together and he’s sent me three Facebook marketplace links so far why are they both obsessed with fixing my problems lmaoooooo

Sorry also adding to the complicaciones of this series of relationships is that we also talked about my other partner because they’ve fucked too 😭😭😭 like
I’m sooo obsessed w the whole situation it’s sooo stupid

Let me reiterate she sold that mans to me like they sold y/n to one direction and then called me to talk about blowjobs and gay porn while i was naked shaving my legs in the bath. What the hell even is happening in my life even at all (I love it I’m having the best time)

Long story short despite living four hours away he was here later the same night because he’s a wife guy who listens to his wife. Longer story short she just FaceTimed me to talk about a gay movie while she knew I was in the bath. I’m really out here on levels of polyamory I can’t even describe

Told my partner’s wife I needed to get laid but was having trouble making plans (in a like, I miss living with a partner sometimes way), forgetting entirely that she’s a Planner™️ and she joked about sending her husband to me for that purpose then One second later I got this text from him

“What other coot can we shart” was just said to me because i asked what else we could charcute

Also annoying: Google search normal things to bring to a potluck

Like being susceptible to overstimulation or being impacted by my environment makes me so annoyed conceptually bc I feel weak lol

It’s also so annoying that like the process of unlock door/take jacket off/take headphone off/cat scream at me/wet bellbottom/temperature change/put heavy bags down is a) the thing that made me figure out adhd and b) the thing that still kills me instantly lol