Idk I think riding dick can replace a quad workout if you do it the right way

computer, make all my friends have a good day (and show me their balls)

all the nail files are locked down at the store?? how am i supposed to finger him now

Realizing things…

big balls josh

opening the gay group chat at a work conference and having “slut” in big bold letters at the top of my screen

I’m the perfect person to break HIPAA or FERPA with because I won’t remember a damn thing

if you have auto-caps turned off on your keyboard, you ARE babygirl

Pondered the orb this morning and it said I need some dryhumping

The only thing tighter than the turn radius on my jeep is this pus- *gunshot*

I knew you’d get it 😌

They put girth on the driver’s licenses out here it’s crazy

Stopping in the middle of a staircase to watch a reel as an adult man is crazy boots

because you wouldn’t park my car for me 😞 it’s hard to see over the wheel

you weren’t supposed to tell people you saw me :(

Dance Mom Holly DO SOMETHING

The nipples are the eyes of the face

blocking you rn king :/

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my 15 minutes of dry humping him in the morning 😍

Riding my horse in Elden ring listening to Kacey Musgraves with nothing on but a pink bob — as god intended

Happy hour with your favorite fag is healing I s2g

Thinking about my girl Brandi TV

Oh I just know it’s wet and shiny 🫦

Drag me all you want but I love a meatball sub

me the second I pull into a parking spot at work

Life is just so much more fun with a little faggle of gays to hang out with

You just get me 😌

It’s okay!! tops aren’t known for their sense of time 😌