Back on the fitness horse. (It is a proud, diffident horse that throws me off every few years and snorts at me derisively, daring me to try again.)
Starting mornings with an admixture of Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen fruit, oatmeal, chia seeds & whey protein.
I call it Breakfast Spackle.
(His name is Rutledge cause he like to rut)
Lee Pace as a drag queen elf was, alongside Freeman’s performance, the two bits of good to come out of the Hobbit movies, so it’s great he’s coming back in Hunt for Gollum.
He best bring the haughty gay elk tho. The look’s not complete without it.
Gather round grandpappy’s knee, children, as I tell you of a forgotten, sepia-toned, mist-shrouded time known as 2009 when those of us who wrote on the internet strived to craft a punchy lede and then wrote a preview of what would follow if readers clicked to read more.
The “After the Jump” era.
My original, too-hot-for-NPR hed:
With BIG MISTAKES, Dan Levy lets SCHITT’S go
Reading some BIG MISTAKES reviews that find it too mean and lacks heart.
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
My take, for what it’s worth:
www.npr.org/2026/04/09/n...
My favorite part of a Silver Age Fantastic Four comic is when Galactus “issues a sternly-worded statement” about eating the world and annihilating puny humans
And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hoppin’ down the bunny trail
Hippity Hoppity
Said a hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie
The hip, hip-a-hop and you don't stop rockin'
To the bang, bang the boogie, say up jump the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
He is RZA.
“What has it gots in its pocketses?”
i mean whom are we kidding
Describe your Bluesky account with a single image.
Kick! Punch!
It's all in the mind!
If you wanna test me
I'm sure you'll find
The things I'll teach ya
Is sure to beat ya!
They pardoned me
And I went free
Not the son of God
Which I found odd
Now I got more guilt
Than Jordan’s got silt
Here we go now!
- Barabbas the Rapper
PILATE: You’re that guy. The loaves and fishes guy.
JESUS: Yes.
PILATE: And then last night, the bread and the wine.
JESUS: Yes.
PILATE: …
JESUS: …
PILATE: …
JESUS: …
PILATE: …
JESUS: … I’m sorry was there something you-
PILATE: Why is it always food with you people?
PILATE: So. (Checks notes.)
JESUS: Yes?
PILATE: Says here you’re the … Reformer, is that correct?
JESUS: Um…
PILATE: No sorry I read that wrong. The REDEEMER.
JESUS: …
PILATE: Still though. “Reformer.” I like the sound of that. Page, write that down. “Pilate’s Reformer.” There’s money there.
Remember: If you try to reach Jesus this afternoon he likely won’t reply unless he’s enabled talk-to-text.
woke up feelin’ Maundy
hope tomorrow I feel Good
Today is April Fools Boxing Day.
So find the people who pranked you yesterday and beat them up.
Made it through another annual event wherein my baseline distrust of humanity works as my advantageous adaptation.
I was made for this.
Yeah, I’m a dusty gray moth. But once a year, on April 1, the bark on every tree is sooty as fuck.
Vulnerability. Accountability. Putting it out there and letting the world do whatever the hell it does with it, while knowing it could only ever have come from you.
It’s uh … not MUCH to cling to, admittedly. But if it isn’t enough for you, writing is not the best use of your time, bucko.
A review is a conversation with readers (NOT WITH THE AUTHOR) about the ideas and imagery found in a work.
You can’t outsource your essential human reaction to art. I’ve gotten lots of stuff wildly wrong over the years, but it was always me getting it wrong. That’s ultimately all that writing is:
ALSO! Writing about books - portals to another human’s innermost thoughts and feelings - is unavoidably messy and human and organic and funky and, more than anything else, subjective.
Critics avail ourselves of schema and taxonomies and contextual frameworks to make our arguments, but come on.
It makes economic sense, I guess. Fewer hours spent to earn the same meager fee.
But trying to make more money writing book reviews is like trying to squeeze water out of a desiccated sponge.
The money isn’t there. The money isn’t the point. If it’s about money, do something, anything else.
No one one goes into media criticism for the money. That said, book reviews have always paid the very least, which is just a function of how long it takes to read, gather your thoughts and write about a book.
Which is why using AI to cut down the hours spent producing a book review is so weird.
Come on. COME ON.
Marriage, year 27, status report: Getting in a heated argument about whether the logo on a local evangelical church looks like a butthole or not.
(It very does.)
There is a knotty, discursive thesis to be written about THE COMEBACK’s evolving, satisfyingly complicated relationship with its gay fans.
This isn’t that. This is just a review.
But I’m just saying: Field for study there.
www.npr.org/2026/03/28/n...
If I had to sign a contract in blood I wouldn’t slash my palm (insane) or even prick my finger (hello, nerve ending CENTRAL) I’d just go to town on this here mosquito bite scab on my left calf and Satan would just have to roll with it.