Can you use ChatGPT to go fuck yourself?

Hey Instagram please reset my algorithm I’m not sad anymore kthxbye

Why am I staying up late hurting my own feelings with reels.

Time for your semi-monthly selfie. Because I feel good today, the weather is gorgeous, my seasonal depression is gone, and it’s 4/20 and I have a Willie Nelson shirt. And I have a nice tan going with two weeks to spare before the pool opens. 🏊🏼‍♀️

Bought a bunch of bright pink and pastel colored socks thinking it would dissuade my teenage sons from stealing them. Then I remembered that they are their father’s sons and don’t give a single solitary fuck about wearing bright pink. They actually seem to prefer it. Foiled again.

I caught my son’s soccer coach checking me out HARD in the parking lot after practice until I made eye contact with him. 😂 Busted.

That is a very nice thing to say about a person with whom you may have a contentious relationship. Very refreshing.

I’m pretty sure that’s why I don’t have people.

I wish I had people.

I just want to be emailed dictaphone files and enter a transcribing flow state. Don’t need a high hourly rate, don’t need benefits, don’t want be a go-getter. I just want some extra spending money and to be available to take care of my spouse post-transplant. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO WANT, THOMAS??

Thank you. Can I please get paid for that??

Me: Applies for freelance job.

“You’d be a great fit! But first, you’ll need a Windows-based PC, not the Mac used for the assessment. And ExpressScribe Pro. Oh, and you’ll have to take a $399 course that takes 50 hours to complete and do 4 unpaid practice assignments.”

Me: Sigh. *reactivates OF*

Realized I’m good, actually.

Fine, I’ll read Fourth Wing.

Why aren’t Republicans demanding investigations into the numerous sexual assault allegations that have been made against Trump?

This is such a good point. Beyond release dates, where I will excitedly listen to an anticipated album, I find myself constantly going back to the same handful of artists and playlists. Or opting for a podcast or book instead. I am absolutely overwhelmed by too many options.

Why is the alleged President of the United States posting photos of himself as Jesus Christ blessing or reanimating someone who looks to be Jeffrey Epstein while a bunch of white people bow to him?

COMPLETELY NORMAL SHIT, RIGHT?

This is a surprisingly appropriate response, Whimsy. Good job.

He may be terminal, but he’s still very funny!

I do not, thanks! ❤️

The other day I saw a girl wearing a shirt that said Elote in the Korn font and it was the highlight of my year.

Chat is it lame to be excited about my new rechargeable milk frother or am I just an adult?

Just disappointment after disappointment. I don’t even have expectations anymore, the bar is in absolute hell, and still just let down all the time.

If Melania wasn’t trying to get out in front of something, and she just held a presser to address the internet, basically — shifting the global focus back to the one thing Trump didn’t want to talk about, while plugging her book… that’s really going to be hard for anyone to top.

Oopsie.

They’re so much better at it than we are.

a man wearing glasses and a scarf is looking at something . ALT: a man wearing glasses and a scarf is looking at something .

Iranian LEGO figures:
We put another in the lead…Khamenei again
Me:

It’s so true, I’m actually the worst. 😂