Unimprovable headline

From the latest Private Eye, out now.

Longest to reach 100 County Championship matches:

9 553 days WH Rowlands (Glos) 1901-1927
9 504 GHS Fowke (Leics) 1899- 925
8 722 JM Anderson (Lancs) 2002-2026

Yeah!

Plays reverse sweep very well!

Jamie Smith has started the summer with a bang 👊

Top of the charts in Division One 📈

🤯 99 average
💯 Two centuries
🔝 Top score of 166

🤎 | #CountyChampionship

Gil Duran tweet: TLDR: Fascism in response to Palantir's long fascists screed on X.

"Your Account is Suspended" Message on X

The CEO of Palantir posted a fascist manifesto on X.

I pointed out that it was fascist—which resulted in a permanent suspension from X (my second time!).

So, when you hear the tweeters complaining that BlueSky is intolerant, remember why many of us came here in the first place.

Babar Azam played just one dot ball in his 52-ball innings tonight. In the ball-by-ball database which has over 3,000 innings of 50 or more balls in T20s all over the world, no batter has ever had as few as one dot ball - Mazher Arshad

An unprecedented feat by Babar Azam 👏

srkl.in/63322B7MLca #PSL2026

Lolz

I spoke with CNNi's Linda Kinkade about how the FIFA greed machine is revving up ahead of the 2026 World Cup

"snapped from a safe distance" 😂

Fucking idiots!

Image Credit: NASA Mission engineers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Southern California turned off the Low-energy Charged Particles experiment aboard Voyager 1 on April 17, 2026. NASA/JPL-Caltech

NASA has powered down Voyager 1’s Low-Energy Charged Particles (LECP) instrument to save power. 🛰️ This move aims to keep the iconic spacecraft operating through the end of the decade! Humanity’s most distant explorer continues its journey. 🌌 #Voyager1 #NASA #Space

1/4

Lol. Thought it goes to 6th team only if they win UCL or UEL and don't finish in UCL places in the league. This is stupidity.

Hope he recovers soon!

Holy. Shit. This is Reid Wiseman's video he took with his iPhone while at the moon 🌙

This is quite nice!

i am a neutral and i want arsenal to win the league because human rights abusing petrostates are worse than annoying fans, and i don't understand how this isn't a consensus opinion.

Federal judge unloads on ‘unserious’ RFK Jr., says anti-trans policy showed his ‘cruelty’ Judge Mustafa T. Kasubhai vacated the “Kennedy Declaration,” finding it unlawfully attempted to override medical standards and restrict care for transgender youth.

"Secretary Kennedy’s unlawful declaration harmed children,” the Judge wrote.

“This case highlights a leader’s unserious regard for the rule of law...

“Unserious leaders are unsafe."

www.advocate.com/politics/nat...

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?

Chelsea deserve an asterisk too, right?

Fuck #VAR that is a clear headbutt. They can spot a bobble being displaced , but not that? Fucking wankers. #EPL

Lolarumma 😂 #EPL

Manchester United u14s have won the Premier League Albert Phelan Shield today!

A spectacular 5-4 win over rivals Liverpool has earned silverware for the young Red Devils

I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

Rachel Reeves’ Cuts 💇‍♀️

Hair pull by Brentford's Dango Outtara going unpunished meanwhile Lisandro Martinez got a red card for the same 'offence' last week. The referee in both instances was Paul Tierney.

How did I miss this yesterday?! I should work for PGMOL/FA - I'd be better than Paul Tierney!

#PGLOL

Kobbie Mainoo different gravy vs Chelsea:

100% final third pass accuracy
95% pass accuracy
68 touches
21 carries
5 ball recoveries
3 interceptions
3 tackles attempted
2 tackles won

[@StatmanDave]

Matheus Cunha of Manchester United celebrates scoring his team's first goal during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Manchester United at Stamford Bridge

Manchester United win at Stamford Bridge for the first time in six years to move 10 points clear of Chelsea.

Also at one point he just didn't play as everyone was willing him to. He was very egoistic.