Just in on the Summer Concert Tickler. #jimmyeatworld #jimmyeatlunch #jimmykimmel #jimmyjohns

Master Ebulon Dawson wasn’t the brightest bulb in the barn, but he and the dim citizenry of that peculiar American hamlet of Hooterville enjoyed more laughter than the wider world, by any measure cause for celebration. Happy Anni-hearse-sary, Citizen Sonny Boy.

Just in on the Station House Tickler: an unconfirmed listing of the year’s exalted class of geetar strummers, keyboard ticklers, feedback wranglers, drum kit batterers, brass bellowers, caterwaulers, racket-raisers and bumshakers. Take a violin bow, Citizen Rock & Rollers.

A Station House shoutout to our Eastern European brethren. To all Citizens Faithful observing this Sunday, April 12: Happy Orthodox Easter! #believe

It may or may not interest you to know that Station House Books® may or may not be shopping an updated guide to manners and makeovers for the modern, law-abiding gent. Coming to a digital bookseller sometime between now and the end of civilization. Alrighty Almighty!

Yours Truly Dooley® is obliged the birthday well wishes as we lean into our middling years. (Anticipated end date: 2075.) Now then, might we slice you a wedge of the sponge?

The station houses wishes the Citizens Faithful a Blessed Easter Week.

A Friday salute to the lovable, incorrigible Arthur®, who left us this day in 2002. Whilst he got lost between the moon and New York City, in later finding himself, our favourite limousine reveler reminded us that falling in love is the best any of us can do. Happy Anni-hearse-ary™, Chumley.

This Artificially-Inseminated (AI) wink and a smile comes courtesy of station house deputy web administrator Kingsley Tolliver who, 'long with his robotic chums at Champ-GPT, answered this trending #90s query with playful aplomb. Now That’s What I Call Policing, Vol. 1!

As I Underhand It™, a select group of stateside universities are cheering their invitations to some sort of Sweet 16 gala this weeks' end. The station house extends its noble best to all.

Friday is a day of salutation at the Station House. With a doff of the helmet and a clink of the champagne flute, we salute all mums in corseted finery. Hail, Hail you fairest of maidens! #milf

This just in. #StationHouseTickler

The shanty house extends holy day blessings to the citizenry, all the livelong day.🍀 #saintpaddys

Swedish disco rascals Gert Jonnys were once cassette-tape royalty. When founder Gert Jonny Hansson left, many assumed the band would pack it in and take work at IKEA. ’Twasn’t so. Reborn as The Lars, they return with “Forever Young.” Be still, young hearts: www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZuU...

Make a bloody note of it. #ping

The station house sends its condolences.😥

This just in.

As I Underhand It™: The long-celebrated band of hornblowers and pigskin pounders discovered by Haitian impresario Jean Baptiste Point du Sable 'long the banks of the Checagou River turned 189 today. Many happy returns to the ever-evolving assemblage known as ... Chicago!

What are we going to listen today? The properly helmeted singing Viking himself. 8-track? Loaded. Stairway to Odin? Cued. Hasselhoff we go, citizens!

AS I UNDERHAND IT™, the online fussbuckets are in a tizzy over the State of the Union Jack, though I can’t imagine why, as it remains precisely as it has since the bloody 1800s — upright, crosswise, and triumphantly composed. Alrighty almighty!

Just in on the Olympic Tickler™.

If Memory Swerves™: A year ago, the imortal Dev "Kash" Patel arrived in Washington homeless and jobless, before snagging a gilded bunker at the Bureau. Now we're hearing his public transgressions may send him and this thrift-store satchels packing. How many lives does this Citizen Reanimate possess?

In the Olympic aftermath. Bloody good showing!

Just in on the Retail Tickler™: Lone-monikered Irish longhair Hozier teams with German apparel house Falke for a Hoziery® storefront featuring premium tights paired with recordings by the chart-topping churchgoer. Alrighty almighty, hosiery-minded Citizen Hozier!

Celebrating a Deathday: Bare-knuckled brawler and catcaller Ronald “Bon” Scott of AC/DC took his final tour bus straight down the “Highway to Hell” on this day in 1980. He was full-throttle, fire-fed and gloriously ungoverned. Happy Anni-hearse-ary to Citizen Howler Extraordinaire Bon Scott.

Bully for you, Toto. Righto!

’Twould appear that “too soon” is not in the vocabulary of the social media team at table-syrup makers Pearl Milling. Ah well — perhaps their intentions were noble. At any rate, the station house sends proper condolences to the family and friends of Robert Duvall, gone at 95.😓

Celebrating a Deathday™: Model, actress and — if memory swerves — juice ’n jelly heiress Raquel Welch took her final stage exit on February 15, 2023. We remember her fondly whenever the Welch’s brand meets a warm station-house crumpet. Happy Anni-hearse-ary, darlin’.

Aim High and have a Happy Day, Citizen Valentinians!