didn't you put your phone in the pool because it was too hot or something?

After God continues to be peak above peak.

"entering sleep mode. please use external panel to wake." followed by the sound of a lock

"stay tuned for our irregularly-scheduled Blast Of Light And Sound!"

"if the water suddenly reaches 100C in less than 5 seconds, please notify an attendant"

inventing the Stressful Sensory Deprivation Chamber with my wife. it's a normal chamber that has a warning play when you get into it.

"this vehicle operates at high speeds. please keep your arms and legs inside the tank at all times."

DOGY?!?!?!????!!!!?!?!?!

Tweet by Martina Navratilova. "Predator. That is how he should register. A sexual predator…" quote-tweeting a tweet by "Biology Rules OK" about Dr. Beth Upton, a trans woman

This tweet is highly defamatory and Martina Navratilova should be fired from BBC Sport for it.

It demonstrates an horrendous level of hatred for a trans woman (who was cleared of all wrongdoing in a recent tribunal) because she is a trans woman.

same good lord

ok i guess i am not allowed to upload anything without it getting mangled

A red panda barely peeks its head out of a boulder with a perfectly carved nook inside, letting pandas lay down for a nap. The panda has quite the grumpy expression, hopefully they weren't woken from a nap

The Daily red panda emerges

leftists are my greatest adversary because they are destroying america destroying america or being rude to you online? being rude to me online

liberals on this microblogging website

"My best guess is Alex Karp's mom got something stuck up there and that's how he got to be the first human born with lithocephaly"

Jackie Onassis:

Stretch hypothesis: this might have been an interview. This strikes me as recruiting.

He could not force himself to understand how banks functioned and so forth, because all the operations of capitalism were as meaningless to him as the rites of a primitive religion, as barbaric, as elaborate, and as unnecessary.

i alone walk the path of truth and virtue

They are beasts as we are beasts. Men are animals that speak.

Ollie: "Let's break all our bones!!!" Spice: "LET'S RIDE THE MECHANISM!"

Spice & Ollie having a fun day out 🥰🥰
@kashmoneym.ink

a raw hotdog is kind of like a gummy worm

A very naughty red panda pouts in a corner of its habitat after its mom placed it there for biting her tail. How rude, biting a red pandas tail!

Daily red panda in timeout >:(

i deserve this... life isn't fair

austria's fake. if i wanted to be told to say hello to god so often it became normal to me, i'd just have a girl hold me hostage and shatter my psyche with frequent mock executions

wtf

Last Stand

i need him so bad i'm dropping iq points by the second...,

He isn't called McGruff the No Crimes Dog, idk what you expected

The Calvin's dad explaining records meme. He is explaining that the two kinds of meme are Calvin's dad and Loss. Despite being a meme about Calvin's dad, this one is Loss.

i have no attachment to anything described here but i'm gonna watch it anyway because you're cool and do word good

the people's mayor