…do squats, they are fantastic exercises for us revered elders. 10 squats a couple of times a day will keep those massive leg muscles strong. If you can’t do 10, start with 1 and work your up, slowly. If it hurts, that’s your body telling you to stop, you silly donut! There is gain without pain!

..and don’t forget oldies, you need longer between sessions to rebuild the muscles, probably 4 or 5 days - and you cannot do 15kg bicep curls like wot you used to do (well I can’t anyway, I’m doing 7.5kgs at the moment, going up to 8 next week I hope)

When you're old and doddery like me it's really important to keep working yer muskules, or they will just give up. Set goals and it's fun reaching them. Today I managed to achieve a cycling goal - making a speed camera show me a red grumpy face - 31kph!

Wrinkly, saggy butt? Just grab hold with both hands and nobody will notice and you can tell gravity to fuck off!!

Mono Monday is a bit weird, "Mono" is a prefix meaning single, one, or alone, if our pics were monochrome they would be just totally black or totally white. My brains takes me to odd places some times.

You look like you are especially enjoying that coffee Pete - good man!

Luscious legs that go on forever until they reach those oh so sexy pink panties and mmmmm, snuzzle, snuzzle, snuzzle.💋

How can it be Mono Monday again? These weeks are going too quickly!

Come closer and I’ll whisper a secret!

Someone once tried to convince me of the existence of the Sky Fairy because of the design perfection of the human body - nah, not having that old bollocks, she didn’t make tongues long enough!

Oh lovely! You know I’m definitely more bottom and prefer to be the receiver, but I would really like to fuck that gorgeous pussy, well I’d try, probably be a total failure but we’d have some fun and giggles!

He looks so comfortable, cosy and very kissable lying there💋

Ha ha, yeah, the crema on coffee is the best bit!

Yep, 55 years working made me very lucky 😜

Thanks sweetie, fingers crossed for your flights, who’d a thought a stark raving mental narcissist could have cause so much trouble? It’s ‘lucky' I live here - I can walk to the beach! I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Lucky I had drunk my coffee! Imagine going to the hospital and explaining that I ‘accidentally’ dipped my todger into hot coffee.

It’s a very lovely day here, minimal clothing (none) needed outside.

Lovely warm weather for a nice naked, nude, coffee outside!

I’ve discovered a way of measuring how far you have progressed in being a grown-up. I realised there was no beer in the fridge a couple of hours ago,I did not put some cans in the freezer, we’ve all done it, exploded beer cans - disaster! Now I am a grown up I can wait until they are nice and cool

Sometimes you have to put the coffee cup down - it’s only 2 hours until beer o’clock!

Yep, afternoon coffee is nice! I was thinking of going outside but it’s too hot - I told you I would be moaning about the heat now the weather has warmed up and gone Spanish!

Remember chaps, coffee is not just for the early morning, afternoon coffee is perfectly acceptable (as long as you’re wearing the correct outfit).

I was awake really early again this morning, so I drank coffee and took pictures of my naked, nude self with that coffee - what else can a chap do at 4.30 in the fecking morning?

Why didn’t someone tell me it was Saturday, I thought it was Friday and the Women’s 6 Nations Rugby was on the telly tomorrow. It’s today! I love Rugby, and despite what some misogynistic wankers say, the women’s game is fucking brilliant.

Ha ha, I know it wasn’t me, but as I am all peace and love these days, I take the blame for everything, even when we all know it was that X bloke wot done it! Hugs and kisses back at you!

I just read - 'Polls have long indicated that, on average, we get more conservative as we age.’ It's true! When I was a teenager I was a member of the Communist party, later the Socialist Workers party, then Labour, now I am a member of the Woke, Lefty, Tofu Eating, Tree Hugging, Green party!

Like Paul Weller said 'Too much will kill you - too little ain't enough’, don’t think he was talking about coffee though!

Two hands are good, but imagine if the sky fairy had had made human beans like octopussies, 8 arms! Think of the fun we could have!

How many cups of coffee is too many? I reckon once you get past 10 then maybe that’s when you need to slow down a bit. Of course if you are one of those deviants who puts cream, sugar or the worst crime of all, syrup, into coffee then 1 is too many for you, stop it!

Yay! Another day, another chance at trying to be better than yesterday and not being a cunt. If only the lunatics in charge of the asylum would try that. Imagine if the orange monster woke up one day and decide to not be a cunt - the world could relax a bit.