Very inconvenient for my actual job to get in the way of the house tasks I had planned for my wfh day

When I’m asked if I’m in an open relationship the answer varies depending on who’s asking

Couldn’t bring the hotel lighting home in my easyJet backpack

I wish Greater Manchester politicians would get with it. Feels like the city-region is being left behind.

Photosynthesising some serotonin, I am just one big leaf 🍃

And the bay window roof is now leaking, someone please give me free money ASAP

Anyone know how I can never go back to work, but also still pay my mortgage?

Just recovered from the worst hangover of my life

Visibly more belly fat post Christmas, twink death is real

instructions on the back of a vape:

A brave day confronting his nemesis

"You will be visited by three spirits."

The three spirits:

Why is there always so much traffic on the M6 around Walsall? Who on earth is going to Walsall??

I think the closest we could get would be matching pyjamas

Festive baby

Registered vehicles on UK roads:

1991: 20 million

2023: 41.2 million

Congestion is caused — and air pollution and climate change is made worse — not by cycleways or LTNs, but by too many motor vehicles.

Stop telling pedestrians and cyclists what to do to stay safe and just force drivers not to be dangerous by design.

Last one before Christmas?

Red wine hungover on a weekday 🫠

Show us your hotel mirror thirst traps, go!

Validate me

Troye Sivan’s Spotify message straight up calling me a fag

Tree lasted two whole days before the cat attacks started 🎄

UK payback period is ~15 years, so you’d need a lot of extra cash sitting around doing nothing to be worth it

My worst nightmare!

The cross country smelling like a festival portaloo is also a massive push

Can’t believe every homosexual I’ve ever met or spoken to is meeting up tonight without me

Bought our 39p tickets for wicked with both meerkat movies and Tesco clubcard codes

If you’d told me actual real life modern day abba came on at the end after the holograms stopped, I’d believe you

My moment is here