Every GenX’r owned a zippo at one point. Even if they didn’t smoke. #facts

Seagulls and target parking lots
#universalpairs

It’s a flower. Fuck me

Sea anemone implies the existence of a land anemone.

I honestly think it would be hilarious if there was one family on White Lotus that was having just the best time, like we get two miserable storylines and then occasionally cut to this family going “We saw three dolphins!”

The pope has “double” pneumonia and “mild” kidney failure. Adjectives in healthcare are WILD.
#healthcare #pope #doublemild

When I leave the room in a hurry please respect it. It’s postfartum depression. #i’msorry #notsorry

Sly Lives is reverse six sense. #hewasalivethewholetime #slylives

I can’t confirm this…but I’m 💯 sure cargo shorts.

This is hateful to krill

I love my wife and son so much. That’s it.

Like EXTRAORDINARY

If I die tomorrow, I have eaten an extraordinary amount of olives. fuck yeah

250 years……..so close

I’m hoping this bird flu doesn’t completely disrupt the tar and feather portion of history we are hopefully entering.

That’s a very hangdog attitude

gpt send image of reverse cave.

I want to delete meta but Marketplace is like asmr for nihilists.

The brutalist….
It was a movie. I guess that means more now than it used to.

Movie pass……..fuck me that was the top of the mountain.

Why is the poop emoji 💩 smiling? Massive lack of self awareness.

So…which one of these clowns is gonna show up with the mustache? #herrlip #newsky #everythingisawful

DUCKS AREN’T YELLOW. Why lie? #childrensbooklobby

I asked Sabrina Carpenter to lend a hand with our deck. Let’s just say her ancestors are DISAPPOINTED.

Microwaves that operate like toasters. A solitary spring loaded action. Do or do not. All these buttons on the microwave….so much refuse.

Empathy is to listen
Love is to understand
Freedom is to forgive
Fart is a food ghost
#catharsis #highku #empathy

My wife just asked if Geordie Greep was Lin Manuel Miranda and now I can’t unhear it.
#musicsky #geordiegreep
#marriage #ihaventhadmycofeeyet

“Open one present at a time and comment on it” in Laws

OR

“Go around the table and tell us what you are thankful for” in laws

Being moved by @boniver.bsky.social as long as I can remember it. Knowing those lyrics are free form splatter paint is the most pro wrestling move of all time. Rings upon rings.

Soup for DINNER? At best soup is an appetizer after 3pm.