No one has ever said this before, but I think people would buy a poster of that Nikola Jokić dunk

“Beef” is a great example of why I hate the binge drop model because I think season two is pretty perfect TV but I’ll forget about it in three weeks

Realistically speaking, the most net positive way for a Republican Secretary of Labor to spend her day is banging her security detail and making her staff throw her a dog's number of birthday parties. She will be missed

Dennis gets a free mail order bride with an offer of U.S. citizenship. Mac and Dee try to get rich with a matchmaking service for incels and woman who don't speak English. Charlie and Frank accidentally become human trafficking lords by winning a round of Russian roulette. "The Gang Goes to Myanmar"

Getting reports that Hormuz is now open but only for tanker captains that can complete a series of physical challenges then knock Nitro off the pedestal as a Human Cannonball

I do appreciate Kon Knueppel’s efforts these last two games on behalf of his good friend Cooper Flagg to humiliate all the soulless human calculator watches who host NBA podcasts

Nick Offerman is one of the best actors of his generation and more people should say it

Thank you!

“LaMelo Ball drives to end it” usually would involve a pink Land Rover with diamond rims hitting a stroller in a crosswalk

Always a great sign in a city of 12 million people when a GrubHub driver says “Good to see you again”

The other side of this is Private Equity buying up old music catalogues and pushing oldies back into the zeitgeist with the algorithms and media properties they own, so I'm not sure what a new band or artist is supposed to do except "Absolutely don't be Geese"

The graph guys don't understand this because you can't put "Sense of Fair Play" on a chart. Which is how they arrive at "Yes you're being fucked, but have far more Dorito options than your grandparents"

Possibly the most true but insane sounding things you can say is: “Trump isn’t Jesus because Trump wouldn’t rub a whore’s feet!”

A major problem we have is that too many powerful and influential people believe (at least subconsciously) that America is somehow magically insulated from decline and collapse. But whatever our Greatness it was achieved through policy choices and can be undone by other choices. It's happening now!

He also had no shot at being president. He had a decent shot at being the lone Dem hope for governor (all the other nonsense in the California primary notwithstanding)

Charles, dunno if you saw this, but this girl outed herself on Twitter. They were apparently debating the merits of a liberal arts education, and she’s using her notoriety to fundraise for cats in Gaza x.com/gracecamille...

Just gonna triangulate one more time real quick

we should have a third industry besides AI and gambling

What’s funny about this clip is people are being “Yass Queen!” about it like he’s a dick (maybe?) but to me it looks like a low-stakes sports argument about zone defenses, so WHO’S THE REAL SEXIST?!

It's crazy to think that amid all the planets encircling all those stars, we probably live on the only one that has penguins or a lemonade that kills you

[I stick my head in your window unprompted]

By the way,,,,,,,, I had nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. See ya later

The feds just sent a guy to federal prison for decades for moving a box of zines with a feminist movie review in them

The fact none of them have any light in their eyes makes me think there must be a secretly really bright light extremely well hidden

I've read Bill Lawrence saying before basically he'll never end a show if he doesn't have to because of all the people who have jobs because of it. I respect it. Steal all of Apple's money and give it to the electricians, camera ops, and the craft services people. Especially with the way LA is rn

[With a voice that sounds like Starscream from Transformers gargled battery acid] "Now let's play Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal"

TONY: "Chris, get Pauly and call me back from an outside line. We got a problem with our friend from the Windy City in the dress"

CHRIS: "Is that that Au Bon Pain thing?"

TONY: "Avignon! It's AVIGNON. AVIGNON! And don't say it on the phone"

"No no no, it's multifunctional. It doesn't just make revenge porn targeting your children, it also takes your job. But don't worry, after we foreclose on your house we'll knock it down and build a data center"

What no way

Oman with the good lawyers getting a no-show Executive Producer credit

The volume of conspiracy theories escalating about the moon landing because of Artemis is depressing. The moon is far away but you accept that people can be moved yes? The rest is just math, jet fuel, and huge metaphorical balls, and I guess some people don’t understand any of the three