also nonplussed with how this sentiment usually reduces indies to serving some function filling the 'gaps in the market' the industry leaves open, as opposed to idk, any more expressive purpose

so yeah, while not a 'movement', for me its at least pointed out that much of this is not as obligatory as we think, and been more of a call to action for that introspection on what i could do to get back to the stuff i actually came to this medium for

i think as game designers we can share a lot of language about the 'unique features' but really it seems more individualized, what creates enough discomfort for anyone to stop engaging with the other parts they do like

i think its a very shared problem, but many people are probably trying to kill different things, internally

the 'integration' step is also gameplay? but its also just a totally 'prescribed' thing. 'you are making a game arent you?'

so when you get the sense you may be failing at this, killing gameplay seems to be the coping strategy to get past that and back to the part you actually enjoy

i sometimes remember the excitement and motivation but mostly remember the 'failure to integrate' for them

rephrasing that, the initial joy/excitement of making something new getting cut off because you can't figure out how to tie it into a 'loop' or the incentive structure someone might expect

the part ive connected to most i think relate to the idea that 'design' feels like this compulsory thing, and, the # of projects ive canned because i make something kinda novel but say 'this design is not going anywhere' or 'couldnt be made a full game'

ive found kill gameplay fascinating but a pretty hard banner to 'rally under' because it seems so much of it is a personal mission, like wrt. some of your points on art therapy

and the sense you have been wrestling with what aspects of design put up 'resistance'

'waking up' is realizing you can get to the 'for real' emotions right now by engaging with yourself and how the thing you are actively doing fulfills your promises, returning from that future world

when you are 'dreaming' there is this imagined cathartic feeling associated with envisioning how people come to appreciate the huge bold swings you are making. a lot of time gets spent working to impress those imagined people, so that you may one day feel those emotions 'for real'

which i suppose gets at that sense of gravitas/'dream'. like, realizing players ultimately arent who fulfill that wish for you opens up the opportunity to feel okay about not making a grand gesture or pointing the project more inwards

to be fair the universally accepted first step of creating a smash hit rpgmaker game is to abandon your ongoing 'greg fantasy 7' self insert test project, freeing yourself to now start the more interesting one

not to add to confusion but i would probably trust affinity less in this situation.. high grade photo software tend to have a colorspace set up like srgb that augment how it displays

have you also listened to total wife from this year

world of clowns. being in a whole world of clowns

relationship being indie 'a' took insp. from indie 'b' and churned out something more product-oriented.
lots of type b games would get recogniztion for expressivity but without product-like elements kept running into 'is this even a game' discourse. we got tired of that and started self-filtering ig

+ you kind of touch on this but 'nuovo' is really just 'we dont have the time or energy to meet this on its own terms, but, good on you for making it'

and the space really never grew to have room for anything else, like 'your favorite indies favorite indie' is not really a paying position

what irks me looking back at 2010s campaigning is even within indie, the games benefiting most were largely ones that were good at 'evoking art', like literally about making/collecting paintings or whatever, rather than having confidence to say 'art' without feeling a need for backing evidence

provided list of materials including linoleum, microfiber cloth, packing peanut,

pixel art, ufo a day in the life alien

'winner's cup'

2 Litre Dolby - Frida Kahlo YouTube video by stonemonolithic

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHDZ...

plus, so diminutive! i get hit with dread and have dropped tons of work over the concerns this kind of thinking was just inherently subconsciously there

or even the attempts to avoid it are still partial, like, its still pretty common advice that you *should* make free stuff, but only as a ramp towards the conditions that allow *for* paid stuff later. and now thats just what everyone assumes is going on regardless

that being said, id have to dig up old blog sources etc, but we're talking maybe one-time payments of a couple grand to sign a project on to someones flash site

i debated mentioning, yeah, i know it was possible to get contract/commisions for different portals, if you knew someone or got lucky

+attempts to reconnect with anything else feel super ostracizing! which is maybe why those types of projects are harder to find

because it feels like 'rejecting' so many established practices you meet a lot of head-tilting, or it's taken personally by others

thx, my personal introduction to this stuff was more mid 2010s so i guess i just feel a lot of angst seeing so many other methods fade away to these above, kind of happening in realtime before i had much means to participate

i think so too, and hope it continues to. though.. its been much harder to find

+highlighting how 'motivations' may have differed (and been more varied+interesting!) at a point in the past where 'never had a chance of making money and never intended to' was the universal truth, not a 'chosen path'