Cover of Tonight I’m Pucking you by Ash Dylan
what if a reader of hockey romance novels slept with her ex-boyfriend’s sentient hockey stick and then they fell in love FOR REAL??
TONIGHT I’M PUCKING YOU is available now!
She made me feel like nothing more than an object for her pleasure, an unorthodox sex toy, but at the same time she made me feel alive. Like this was what I was created in a factory to do.
what if a hockey romance reader had a one-night stand with a sentient hockey stick and then they fell in love FOR REAL??
TONIGHT I’M PUCKING YOU is available now!
www.amazon.com/dp/B0GX2DNYT...
Cover of Tonight I’m Pucking you by Ash Dylan
what if a reader of hockey romance novels slept with her ex-boyfriend’s sentient hockey stick and then they fell in love FOR REAL??
TONIGHT I’M PUCKING YOU is available now!
Cover of Tonight I’m Pucking You by Ash Dylan
Violet gets over her ex… by getting under his hockey stick. But can the hockey stick convince her to give it a chance on more than one night?
TONIGHT I’M PUCKING YOU, a sentient object romance, is available now!
www.amazon.com/dp/B0GX2DNYT...
“touch her and die” is for romance novels, not the Strait of Hormuz
Schrödinger’s peace plan
Darcy writing
Elizabeth,
Tell your pussy I said pspsps.
Darcy
(spreading open a romance novel) this could be our last night on Earth
"Are you an up-against-the-shore Strait?" I groaned as I notched my tanker into the Strait of Hormuz. "I like it rough." The channel gripped my ship and guided it in. “But nice." "Nice and rough it is." The Strait dug into my aft as I drilled, baby, drilled. My tanker bottomed out and the Strait purred, "Whose Hormussy is this?" It felt like mine, but I was only here by invitation. "Yours," I said, and when the oil flowed, I didn't know if I was filling it, or it was filling me.
There’s more than one way to open the Strait of Hormuz
Darcy writing
Elizabeth,
Call me the Easter Bunny because I want to fill your eggs.
Darcy
Darcy writing
Elizabeth,
I don’t want you to sit on my face tonight.
April Fools’,
Darcy
Shall I compare thee to 12 tons of KitKat?
Thou are much easier to fit in my mouth.
Thou are not as crispy, but just as sweet
When I break you off by going down south.
Darcy writing
Elizabeth,
Are you 12 tons of KitKats? Because I would spend the rest of my life eating you.
Darcy
Darcy writing a missive
Elizabeth,
I go down harder than the stock market.
Darcy
saying “I am Banksy” as I deface another Trump signed dollar bill
first draft of my next book done!
I would slip in one ship, then two. Savoring the Strait’s tight grip as I add a third. “You’re so wet,” I’ll rasp. “Whose Strait is this?” I’ll grip the coastline, notch into place, and send in my biggest ship. Pressing until the Strait begs me to spill. Then I’ll pull out and spurt oil on its face.
BREAKING: Sauron has fired Ugluk the Uruk-hai and replaced him with Sarumanwayne
Inigo Montoya
You keep saying “obliterated.” I do not think it means what you think it means.
I can count the reasons AI shouldn’t be allowed to kill people on six fingers
“What do you think of the state of our union?” Mr Darcy grunted.
Elizabeth Bennet looked at the power of his thrusts, the ease of her give. “Strong,” she moaned. “Deep.”
“Is that applause?” Darcy pushed her legs back. “Or the clap of your cheeks?” And he plowed her like a street after a snowstorm.
May everyone who partied with Kash Patel lose their medal on the way home
(Inigo Montoya voice) I want my tariff money back, you son of a bitch
“Witness me!” yelled the germ as it dove onto the cocaine that RFK Jr snorted up his nose.
The other germs cheered, “Witness!”
“We can both fit!” Rose cried.
“It’s okay,” said Jack, shivering. “The Dow is over 50,000.”
GENTLEWOMAN: Lady Macbeth, why is blood on your hands?
LADY MACBETH (completely gone): The Dow Jones is above 50,000. The S&P is high. All hail Trump!
America definitely deserves the gold medal in going downhill
How to write a book with A.I.
1. Don’t
what if you went to the Olympics to boo JD Vance and you were double booked in a hotel with someone who also came to boo JD Vance and there was only one bed and as you both booed him everywhere he went you fell in love FOR REAL???
