We were told that no one reads the bulletin

So we want to join a church but we haven’t been baptized and we can’t figure out if we need one baptism or three baptisms or no baptisms and unfortunately there are no UCC pastors with strong opinions to offer us any guidance

She is; tell her we said hi

Glad we could give you a thrill and a bump, which is what @liddybarlow.bsky.social did for us last night (also a tickle)

You’re such a thoughtful ex 🥹

❤️🦝 it’s good to be able to do a conscious unthroupling

We can’t wait to see how much queerer you are in 3 years

Also now you can delete Bluesky because we won’t be back for 3 years and we’re the only reason you downloaded it anyways

#uccsynod

When you do shrooms, we will be there.

In the feedback of every screeching microphone, we will be there.

We are never far from any one of you.

So please keep dropping snacks.

We’ll see you in Cleveland in 2028.

Yours, truly,
Scooter, Bandit, and Pickles

But we are not leaving you—not really.

When you drop a local delicacy on the floor, we will be there.

When you sit through a painfully long committee meeting that you’re only somewhat sure will do anything at all, we will be there.

When you dare to say Pennsylvania, we will be there.

And with that, we make our way back up in to the air ducts of the Kansas City Convention Center, snuggled up with our prayer shawls and leftover huckleberry taffy and the flavored dental dams that you freaks didn’t use, to sleep the sleep of the just.

#uccsynod

Our apologies—our eyes were too glazed with tears at your departure that we tagged an imposter. @rushans.bsky.social you will always be our moderator.

And other Rushan, you will always wonder what on earth you just got tagged into

There is so much we will miss about Kansas City, like the discarded nipple pasties on the walk up 13th ave

#uccsynod

No one left them for us but we did take some because the nice lady at the prayer shawl booth said that they’re for everyone

If there are any chaplains who can help us process our grief over @rushanshekar.bsky.social no longer being the moderator of #uccsynod please meet us at the fourth trashcan from the back 😭😭😭😭

YESSSSS PARLIAMENTARIANS @revterrywilliams.bsky.social #uccsynod

The return of the sparkle blazer reminds us of the sparkle of the night sky. The time when the trash cans go out 🌙 🦝🦝🦝

#uccsynod

[not a joke]

Deeply grateful for all the General Synod Program and Planning Committee, and the Local Arrangements Committee, and everyone else who makes it possible for us to make bad jokes like it is our job for a few days

Couldn’t do it without you

#uccsynod

Serve with the help of God and KEEEEEVINNNNNNN PEEEEETTTTTEERRRRSOONNMM who helps us all

#uccsynod

“Not to think of yourself more highly than you ought,” unless you’ve visited the shrooms table, in which case, you have no choice but to think of yourself highly

#uccsynod

@rushans.bsky.social we’re not ready to see you go!

#uccsynod

Soon, we might see his Cleve-age. #UCCSynod #OurWholeLives

LFG

#uccsynod

Guy who loves Cleveland stripping off a range of favorite Cleveland t shirts, preparing to invite everyone on stage into a Cleveland-themed strip tease

#uccsynod

Coastal elite delegates currently googling “where is Cleveland”

#uccsynod

Judging by the sighs throughout the conference hall, people are *disappointed* to hear that Synod 36 is in Cleveland, but people from Heartland conference still dance to “Cleveland rocks”

#uccsynpd

Canada is promising to come alongside the UCC. We’re hoping they bring salmon for us #uccsynod

We think they said it’s part of the new Book of Worship

American UCCers again shocked to see what sort of hope and joy is possible when you live in Canada

#uccsynod

The Local Arrangements Committee made us a VERY nice burrow in the fourth trashcan from the back—incredibly well-appointed, comfortable, and full of bbq trash

We are so grateful

#uccsynod