A pug wearing a Nazi uniform

This is a real screencap from Alex Jones' show today, fyi

EXTREME VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED: The Man Hired By The Onion To Take Over Infowars Produced Pro-Pedophile / Child Torture & Murder Shows For Adult Swim In Conjunction With Will Ferrell Who Took Part In Satanic Rituals With Spirit Cooking High Priestess Marina Abramović! The Satan Obsessed Tim Heidecker Has Openly Bragged That He Is Set To Steal Alex Jones' Job, And That He Plans To Steal Alex Jones' Identity In Order To Destroy The Infowars Brand! Alex Jones & His Legal Team Have Already Filed & Are Planning To File Major Legal Challenges To This Attempted High Jacking Of Infowars & His Identity By These Democrat-Backed Deranged Lunatics! WATCH/SHARE THE LIVE ALEX JONES SHOW NOW: x.com/i/broadcasts/1...

This rules

The Onion logo at their offices

Onion pages at the Onion office

Ben Collins holding infowars merch

Kayla and Kat

Went to a party at @theonion.com's office! Met the great @timheidecker.bsky.social!

@kaylapekkala.com @bencollins.bsky.social @katmabu.bsky.social @leilza.bsky.social @junlper.beer

Zhang Shan won the gold medal for the mixed skeet shooting event in the 1992 Olympics.

The International Shooting Union *immediately* banned women from competing against men.

Sepp Blatter should wake up every day and say a thousand prayers to Infantino for making it so nobody will even remember what used to be considered one of the most corrupt eras in the history of any sports body because of what a shitshow this tenure has been

Mariners are useful idiots, walk off series finale 5-4 Josh Naylor delivers first walkoff win as a Seattle Mariner in 5-4 victory over the Athletics

Josh Naylor delivered a walkoff hit and a banger postgame quote to give Mariners fans something to feel good about headed into the off day:

It’s awesome,” said Naylor. “You work hard to get those results. It’s a hard game we play. It’s arguably the hardest sport we chose to play, and we’re idiots for choosing it, but we did. . .”

Oh, Josh. We’re all idiots for choosing it.

Will Kash Patel’s libel suit work? None of the Trump & Trump adjacent lawsuits are actually lawsuits. They are ways to extract cash payments with regulatory threats. The lawsuit is a vehicle to capture the money. If the co has no regulatory exposure the suit goes nowhere. NYT, Atlantic are examples.

there is a word for this. that word is "lying"

if you are a rich guy who owns a small business, and you think it would be cool to have a "funny" or "offbeat" company handbook or policies instead of boring HR boilerplate, just imagine what it's gonna be like to sit in a deposition and have people read it out loud to you, cause that WILL happen

man ever since i saw that company handbook someone leaked it was like "how long before this shows up in a lawsuit"

I’m convinced that at least a quarter of my colleagues don’t know the difference between a LLM and a really complicated macro for Excel.

I’m not fucking kidding: this was a use case that was mentioned to me in two separate occasions by unrelated people in academia.

TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.

“I used AI to combine the data from two excel lists and then send emails to people who were on one list but not another. Saved me so much time.”

My brother in academia, you just fucking discovered mail merge. Welcome to early nineties computing.

mainly reposting for "my brother in academia"

Me when reading a mock draft I don't like

THE FALSE
PROPHETS
OF BALL

depends on the bank robbery

threatening to shoot the clerks? bad, crass, absolutely not heist material

drilling into the vault via an elaborate long distance tunnel where construction noise is timed perfectly with local street construction? heist material

that the kid apparently just dressed like that normally, all the time, and happened to be at the museum for a random visit was the funniest part of the whole thing

like, do I *actually* think we should go around stealing all the time? no

do I hoot and holler and post thomas crown gifs when someone pulls off a really good heist? well, yeah

this is dumb bullshit to put in The Times but objectively speaking we absolutely do go wild for a good heist on the internet, everyone had a field day with the louvre thing for weeks

JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: -- and not parole him. MR. JOSHI: That would require initiating removal proceedings. And as I said earlier -- JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: And so, at that moment, if there was an IJ there, sitting there, he could not have won that removal, correct? MR. JOSHI: Probably not -- JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: Okay. MR. JOSHI: -- because we have a clear and convincing burden. JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: SO -- CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS: I'm sorry. Maybe if you -- would you like to finish that answer? MR. JOSHI: Thank you.

As Sotomayor went back & forth for a few minutes w/ Sopan Joshi from the SG's Office (pages 31-36), trying to get an answer to a question, she interrupted him several times—as he spoke over her, too. When she got an answer and tried to move on, Roberts interjected, giving Joshi more time to answer.

Regarding the Chief and Sotomayor, if you missed it, the court, since the pandemic, has a "seriatim" questioning period at the end of each advocate's time, when justices go one by one and ask whatever they want. Normally, all the Chief does here is to say the next justice's name. Not today.

I've said this many times to people, but I might as well put it into writing.

I am most convinced that Alito is retiring because he's been almost nice in the new year. Angry Alito of recent years (or longer?) is gone, replaced with a guy who seems lighter (knows he's almost free?).

MR. DVORETZKY: -- of a conviction. Second ーー JUSTICE ALITO: -- there's the Heritage Reporting Corporation Official - Subject to Final Review 67 alien -- I'm sorry, go ahead. MR. DVORETZKY: No. Well, the -- the only -- the only other point I was going to make is, to the extent this is a difficult burden for the officer, which I actually don't think it is, that simply reflects Congress's

You cannot tell me for a minute that this man is staying on the bench. He is already living with a vision of a future in which a cool sea breeze is swaying the flag of the day over his beach house.

(And, yet, it was also petty Alito, kissing up to the Chief after his Sotomayor interjection.)

summary. Steal from Whole Foods? Tolentino: Sure. Piker: Sure. Spiegelman: Burn down your employer's warehouse because you're mad about wage theft? Tolentino: No. Piker: No, my lawyers are telling me to answer in the negative. Spiegelman: Murder the C.E.O. of a health care company? Piker: Also no. Tolentino: No. Spiegelman: So we have a yes on stealing from Whole Foods, microlooting.

Like guys... I'm willing to bet that his lawyers didn't actually tell him to say no.

Pretty wild to see a bunch of people not realizing that they're just joking around and shooting the shit throughout the interview.

Giant health insurance companies, like UnitedHealth, are under investigation for corporate fraud through their Medicare Advantage plans.

We cannot give these companies one more taxpayer dollar, let alone the $13 billion HHS Secretary Kennedy just approved.

The US Secretary of the Navy, John Phelan, a businessman and art collector who has never served in the military, flew at least twice on Epstein's plane with Jean-Luc Brunel, and got his job by donating millions to Trump's campaign is apparently stepping down. No word on why yet.

gotta be honest: it is completely unclear to me how Truth Social spent a billion dollars