Milhouse, pounding the floor in righteous fury, demanding when we find out about this sandwich, Ryan

why don't these speakers have full RGB LED? They should be loud in volume AND sight

Television shows shouldn't have characters address important topics. That's unrealistic. My friends and I never talk about current events or politics. We only talk about our current emotional arcs, what happened a little bit ago, or give each other explanations of what is happening right now

haha I saw this too, read it, and his quote about it is just so self-congratulatory without actually being connected to anything

Guess Who-ass heads

There's not an iota of forgetfulness in you

If we convinced him that daylight savings time is somehow "woke," he'd cancel it within a week

A backyard made up of badly photoshopped pieces, composited together with all of the care of a ransom note

More cursed kids photoshops

"TB.com - Now on the internet!"

A.I. needs to watch its back, I'm coming for its job.

Borrow tons of money with no chance of ever making it back? Kid shit.

Lie that I'm good at stuff that I'll never be good at? Doing it now.

Always be 5 years away from meeting my potential? Buddy, that's my life story.

Found the most cursed part of BlueSky

hint: you gotta shine the lasers in the right place, in the right way

btw Zella has started inventing signs, since she still only has fewer than 10 words, and one of them is "baby." So she'll point to a baby or another little toddler and go "wah wah wah" while making the crying motion, and it really looks like she's mocking them in exactly this way

Texted "stop" to opt-out of some marketing text and they texted back "STOP" to me. I guess we've opted out of each other. It was mutual

Pretty sure the Olympics are next year? I remember I was just absolutely shocked to learn that they're next year when I read an article about it, about a year ago-- wait. oh no. Oh no no

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

If they gutted USAID and public broadcasting without a second thought, the least, the absolute least, we can do is abolish ICE.

introducing a bill that requires that the ICE goons have to print low resolution pictures of their faces on their face masks

It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.

me finishing a zoom meeting

they could call it a dark

AI-Powered Stuffed Animal Pulled From Market After Disturbing Interactions With Children FoloToy says it's suspended sales of its AI-powered teddy bear after researchers found it gave wildly inappropriate and dangerous answers.

"Powered by OpenAI’s GPT-4o model by default...tests repeatedly showed that the AI toy dropped its guardrails the longer a conversation went on, until hitting rock bottom on incredibly disturbing topics."

This is so awkward I thought I was following Orpheus out of the underworld but it turns out it was just some other guy wearing similar pants

"No, you see, they killed James Bond. MY name is Bondjames Bond."

It's crazy that Cleopatra lived closer to the extinction of the dinosaurs than she did to the building of the pyramids.

The dissonance between "I should wear a mask" and "I will allow my socks to directly touch a transit seat" is astonishing.

hand coming out of pumpkin, typing an email response to whatever dumb email you sent me

you: "sent from my iPhone"

me:

New Work by Gary Larson | TheFarSide.com Get an exclusive look at brand new cartoons and artwork from cartoonist Gary Larson, creator of the iconic comic strip The Far Side®.

It's kinda cool that Gary Larson is doing new cartoons because he picked up a digital tablet, taught himself how to use it, and it made him love drawing again.

www.thefarside.com/new-stuff/

protect toddler's head being stuck by their curious talent

no shadows, no souls

Buying babyproofing products is a great experience because you constantly have to wonder "should I trust this company that doesn't bother to spellcheck their ad copy and badly photoshops the pictures of their products with the life of my child?" (the answer is always yes: I have no choice)